The Bayly apologies

The Herald reported:

Minister Andrew Bayly has apologised after a complaint he allegedly swore at, mocked and ridiculed a man during a ministerial visit to a business.

The complainant says it left him feeling “degraded, embarrassed and deeply disrespected”. …

Bayly said: “I obviously got this completely wrong, and I have unreservedly apologised to the person concerned.

“It was unintentional, I meant the comments in a light-hearted manner, but I accept that they caused offence. I take responsibility for the situation, and I am sorry.

The complainant said:

When Andrew Bayly was introduced to me, one of the first things he asked was why I was still at work. His tone was dismissive, and he proceeded to say, “Take a bottle of wine and go home, go on, go home…take some wine and f*** off.”

His behaviour and the way he spoke to me suggested that he had been drinking prior to arriving, which made the situation even more uncomfortable. Certainly not the demeanour one would expect from a representative of the New Zealand Government.

As he stepped closer, invading my personal space until we were shoulder to shoulder, Andrew again questioned why I was still working, noting that no one else was on the warehouse floor. What followed next was both shocking and humiliating. He called me a “loser” repeatedly, saying the reason I was still at work was because I am a “loser.”

He turned to the group of people with him at the time, including my boss, the Minister’s assistant, marketing staff, and employees, and formed an ‘L’ with his fingers on his forehead.

It seems clear to me reading this, that Bayly was trying to be funny, and was ribbing the staff member for being the only one still at work. I’ve heard from a number of people that they have seen Bayly try similar humour on other occasions. You often see this misjudged humour with people who have low EQ or are even slightly on the spectrum.

Now this doesn’t make what he did, acceptable. That sort of joshing humour should only be done with people you know, who are friends. In my weekly board gaming group, we often chant “loser” and hold up Ls to each other when someone loses. But that is between good friends, who know it is done with no ill intent. Trying to do that with a stranger is a very bad idea, as they could well interpret it in the way this complainant did.

And doing so a Minister of the Crown, is even more ill-advised. The fault does lie with Bayly, not with the complainant.

However Bayly did twice apologise to the complainant, once he was aware he had offended him. And despite receiving two apologies, the complainant decided to send a complaint letter to the leaders of Labour, TPM and the Greens, as well as the PM. Now he is entitled to do what he wants, but it does raise the question of exactly what he wants to achieve, having already had two apologies.