What not to do

Let’s say you are a senior member of a faculty which has just surveyed faculty members and the results are that many say they are very unhappy in multiple areas – far more so than in other faculties.

Here’s a guide as to what not to do.

  1. Dismiss the results as flawed and statistically insignificant (despite a 76% response rate)
  2. Say that trying to find out what lies behind the results is “picking at our imaginary scabs”
  3. Suggest that the high numbers saying they have been bullied may have nothing to do with the faculty
  4. Argue over the definition of bullying
  5. Dismiss those unhappy as a “small minority”
  6. When those unhappy having had their concerns dismissed then leak the results, label them “uncivilised”
  7. Tell the rest of the faculty that if they are unhappy, they should leave
  8. Tell the rest of the faculty they are “Pathetic. Puerile. Pusillanimous”
  9. E-mail your colleagues and tell them that AUT IT can trace which of them is leaking and that they are both stupid and immoral
  10. Claim there is only one person leaking (there are in fact multiple) and that they are disaffected, petty and unprofessional and that him calling them this is in no way bullying!

I can only imagine what next year’s survey results will be like!

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