Pronoun hilarity

As a rule I will try and use someone’s preferred pronouns, especially for friends or acquaintances who are non-binary or trans etc. People who genuinely have a different gender identity to their biological sex should not be stigmatised.

But one can take sensitivity to ridiculous degrees, as Darlene Tana has done. On 23 July Stuff reported:

“My pronouns are they/them, I never walk alone, in fact,” Tana told reporters.

(This was the first time Tana has publicly used the pronoun they/them. During the campaign, Tana was introduced by the Green Party with the pronoun she/her. Stuff asked Tana for clarity if it was best to use the they/them pronoun, Tana responded: “Because I never walk alone. Thank you.”)

You almost have to laugh at the sensitivity here. There is absolutely nothing to suggest that Darlene Tana no longer identifies as a woman. She herself said she wants to use the pronouns they/them to signify she is not alone. In this case I don’t think anyone should feel obliged to use her preferred pronouns.

But a week later the Herald reports:

Swarbrick and co-leader Marama Davidson said they had written to Tana asking them to stand down.

So now it seems one can just assert any pronouns as your preferred ones, and the media will feel obliged to use them regardless of whether they are related to your gender identity.

A but of common sense would be helpful.