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April 1, 2016 8:00am by Kokila Patel

General Debate 1 April 2016

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General Debate

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starboard

Another forestry worker killed ” in an accident ” by a falling tree..yet we have bureaucrats falling over themselves implementing new and extreme HSE laws. They don’t work. They never will work. You cant legislate for fuckwittery.

You see , it doesn’t matter how many laws you put into place , it doesn’t matter how many layers of waffle and bullshit you implement, it doesn’t matter how big the fine , people will die at work. You cant stop it. You cant eliminate it. You cant isolate it. That’s f-u-c-k-i-n-g life Woodhouse.

Control of the masses…that is what it is all about.
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April 1, 2016 6:19pm
starboard

The problem is RF ( you’re racist by the way, scottchris will be along shortly to tell you ) the dirty filthy lowlife specials will get bail.

Revolving courthouse door and inept judges. There is the problem.
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April 1, 2016 6:23pm
UglyTruth

Control of the masses…that is what it is all about.

A lot of it is done through ambiguity in language, for example using the same word to describe a ritual which formalizes political will as the word which describes a real cause and effect relationship.
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April 1, 2016 6:25pm
RF

Starboard. 6.23. I will bear my cross with honour. What pisses me off is that I am concerned for my safety when alone in some areas of the central city. These special youth gangs approach you asking for bus fares or cigarettes and get really agro if you do not comply. I can still look after myself but not against half a dozen. . It’s not just the big cities as these little toe rags both male and female are everywhere.
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April 1, 2016 6:34pm
Scott Chris

On the other hand, some superstitions involve tossing people into live volcanoes, so others may see it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

Yeah well only if I could get away with it, physically and morally. I’d fail at the latter hurdle alas.
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April 1, 2016 6:35pm
starboard

homos have no morals scottchris…you’ll be right
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April 1, 2016 6:40pm
Scott Chris

starboard (4,435 comments) says:
April 1st, 2016 at 6:19 pm
Another forestry worker killed ” in an accident ” by a falling tree..yet we have bureaucrats falling over themselves implementing new and extreme HSE laws. They don’t work. They never will work. You cant legislate for fuckwittery.

You see , it doesn’t matter how many laws you put into place , it doesn’t matter how many layers of waffle and bullshit you implement, it doesn’t matter how big the fine , people will die at work. You cant stop it. You cant eliminate it. You cant isolate it. That’s f-u-c-k-i-n-g life Woodhouse.

Control of the masses…that is what it is all about.

Wrong. When was the last time you saw a soft townie have a tree fall on him you moron? Any connection to who’s in jail.

Gads you’re stupid.
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April 1, 2016 6:42pm
starboard

I like the Clint Eastwood style of vigilantism RF . Pull out the shooter and watch the blood drain from their scummy faces. They deserve nothing less. Parasitical filth.
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April 1, 2016 6:44pm
Scott Chris

starboard (4,436 comments) says:
April 1st, 2016 at 6:40 pm
homos have no morals scottchris…you’ll be right

A word to add to the kblog lexicon:

“Shitlord” is a pejorative often used on the Internet against those who are perceived as racist, sexist, homophobic, fat shaming or otherwise prejudicial. The term is often employed by those involved in the online social justice movement to call out bigoted shitposting.

Cuts both ways Shitlord, but I prefer my cut.
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April 1, 2016 6:47pm
starboard

Yes I heard you prefer cut to uncut..filthy feral. Must fly, big night out tonight in zqn..try keep it to half a dozen sausage tonight ‘chris
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April 1, 2016 6:48pm
Scott Chris

starboard (4,438 comments) says:
April 1st, 2016 at 6:48 pm
Yes I heard you prefer cut to uncut..filthy feral. Must fly, big night out tonight

Only in your imagination Shitlord. You must watch some weird stuff.

Might pay for the feds to keep an eye on you lol. 😉
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April 1, 2016 6:54pm
nasska

Homo, hetero, farmyard, whatever…… 🙂
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April 1, 2016 6:58pm
Maggy Wassilieff

@Odakyu-sen

I am tempted to retire somewhere other than Auckland.

We’re just coming up for 2 years “retirement” ..( s’pose a more accurate description is 2 years of indolence)..
We don’t miss the big smoke of city life one bit…..
We haven’t been back to Wellington and now that our youngest has decamped from Auckland, I can’t see any reason for visiting there.
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April 1, 2016 7:00pm
Manolo

Multiculturalism Belgium-style:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3517493/At-FIFTY-ISIS-supporters-working-baggage-handlers-cleaners-catering-staff-Brussels-airport-claim-police.html

Police at Brussels airport have claimed at least 50 Islamic State supporters are working there as baggage handlers, cleaners and catering staff.

In an astonishing open letter, the officers said they have warned about the terrorist sympathisers whose security badges give them access to planes, but they remain employed.
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April 1, 2016 7:00pm
Reid

A lot of it is done through ambiguity in language, for example using the same word to describe a ritual which formalizes political will as the word which describes a real cause and effect relationship.

For example: gay marriage. As opposed to civil union. Same rights, different label. Only a label, why all that fuss over a mere label? UT just told you.

As I explained hundreds of times, during that debate. Which just underlined the paucity of understanding most of you have in the social engineering aka mind control arena.

Propaganda is mind control applied not to individuals but to masses of people at once. It never works unless the subject doesn’t realise he’s being subjected to it. Labels are critical to this.

Even if you’re not interested in advanced mind control techniques, if you’re interested in politics then it behooves any of you to acquaint yourselves with the 101 techniques because those are used in politics ALL THE TIME by all sides (to greater or lessor effect and with greater or lessor skill). So unless and until you understand what’s running beneath the headline news story you will never ever be an effective political analyst. You’ll always be one of those people who react to politics rather than predict it.
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April 1, 2016 7:02pm
nasska

It’s over two & a half years since same sex marriage was legalised Reid.

When do you predict that it will be made compulsory? 🙂
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April 1, 2016 7:07pm
Manolo

Only in Mexico:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3518341/Stunning-weather-girl-unfortunate-wardrobe-malfunction-live-air-is.html
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April 1, 2016 7:09pm
Reid

nasska I suggest you read up on the techniques of Goebbels and Edward Bernays as a starter.

It’s a fascinating subject, because while its been put to evil purpose particularly by those two, the subject is nothing less than exposing the machinations of the subconscious mind, and if you’re interested in people, which all of us here are by definition (for what is politics if not people), then you’ll get a lot out of those, as a starter. Then you’re away, and you’ll never be the same again.
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April 1, 2016 7:14pm
nasska

….”I suggest you read up on the techniques of Goebbels and Edward Bernays as a starter.”…..

I’ll put it on my bucket list Reid but I’m afraid there’s a few listings ahead of it. 🙂
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April 1, 2016 7:25pm
Nostradamus

An advertisement at the bottom of my Kiwitblog screen:

Date sexy Thai woman

And then the next ad when I refreshed the screen:

The best thing to hold on to in life is each other. Chineseladydate.com

I’d say Google ads (or whatever system it is) has got Starboard and me mixed up!
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April 1, 2016 7:31pm
Reid

https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/adblock-plus/cfhdojbkjhnklbpkdaibdccddilifddb
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April 1, 2016 7:33pm
Nostradamus

Thanks Reid.

I’m not sure my workplace wants me to be distracted by pictures of scantily-clad ladies who seek a good time with a sugar daddy.
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April 1, 2016 7:34pm
Griff

An advertisement at the bottom of my Kiwitblog screen:

Ok Nostradamus what have you been looking at?
Story probably gets adds for glory hole locators and lady boy tours .
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April 1, 2016 7:42pm
Reid

“But your Honour, she said she love me long time” you explain in your unlawful dismissal suit, as all the much better dressed lawyers sit around frowning and shaking their heads sadly…
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April 1, 2016 7:44pm
Nostradamus

Griff:

Ok Nostradamus what have you been looking at?

I’m using my work computer at the moment. I certainly haven’t been surfing dating websites (or any websites with adult content for that matter)!

Story probably gets adds for glory hole locators and lady boy tours .

Or ads for HagleyParkEvents.co.nz?
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April 1, 2016 7:45pm
nasska

What about sheepfarm playtime com? Maybe your visits at zoology today?

They’ve got onto you somehow! 🙂
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April 1, 2016 7:54pm
Nostradamus

I think Johnboy is more likely to see the ads for sheepfarm playtime com.

Actually, Nasska, how do you know that website exists? What have you been up to old chap?
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April 1, 2016 7:56pm
Scott Chris

What do you mean ~~Air Asia Thailand~~ Tour of the Far East for Grumpy Middle Aged Crises advertisements?

I don’t know what you mean! Cheap seat how dare they?

Oh… hi… Sawadee cup!
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April 1, 2016 7:57pm
Nostradamus

It’s a Friday night. Some people work late. Other people go out for a good time. That leaves the sad sacks with no life whose idea of a good time is downticking comments on Kiwiblog. Oh well, it keeps them off the streets I suppose!
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April 1, 2016 7:59pm
Nostradamus

Scott Chris:

Sawadee cup!

Don’t you mean Sawa’s D cups?

[Edit: Hello sad sack!]
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April 1, 2016 8:00pm
Griff

Who the hell have you upset nostra?
We usually all get captain wank stains down ticks not just you.
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April 1, 2016 8:06pm
nasska

….”how do you know that website exists?”…..

I like to keep myself up to date with all the trends Nostra. Every time a truckload of lambs goes out the gate at about $90/head I start thinking on how we could market them better. There’s always a chance that we could marry off the good looking ones to desperate townies.

Do you know of anyone able to undertake a preliminary market survey? 🙂
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April 1, 2016 8:07pm
Scott Chris

Nostradamus (4,325 comments) says:
April 1st, 2016 at 8:00 pm
Scott Chris:

Don’t you mean Sawa’s D cups?

Nope, prefer b to c, maybe one lactation cycle, not too distended not too floppy and not supplemented with silicone?

Was it wrong for me to be honest?
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April 1, 2016 8:13pm
Nostradamus

Nasska:

Do you know of anyone able to undertake a preliminary market survey?

Have you made enquiries with the Quarry Inn? They may have some discerning clients who are looking for slightly more exotic experiences!
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April 1, 2016 8:13pm
Scott Chris

Shall we move on to the bush?

Okay I prefer german flekentarn camo. Deer can’t see fuck.
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April 1, 2016 8:17pm
Nostradamus

Scott Chris:

Was it wrong for me to be honest?

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to Kiwiblog.

Of course, when it comes to interpreting other people’s comments, the distinction between honest and flight of fantasy can be challenging!
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April 1, 2016 8:18pm
nasska

I’ll follow up your suggestion nostra.

Mind, since I’ve heard a whisper that civil servants have been known to relieve their loneliness at the Inn they would already be catering to some major kinks.

Sheep may not suit their jaded lusts! 🙂
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April 1, 2016 8:20pm
Reid

Every time a truckload of lambs goes out the gate at about $90/head I start thinking on how we could market them better. There’s always a chance that we could marry off the good looking ones to desperate townies.

Why don’t you put some makeup on em and place them in seductive settings with the wind blowing through their wool, stuff like that?

Pretty soon I imagine, these days, you’d have the police, the media, RSPCA and maybe even CYFS’s and the AOS descending on your front lawn desperate to put you in plastic tie downs, read you your rights and take you away in a van with no windows while Mrs nasska waved sadly goodbye, which you didn’t see because a burly cop’s knee was holding your neck to the floor of the windowless van.

But think of the upsides.

Err.

We’d be here nasska.

We’d be here every single night.

Sometimes we’d talk about you and the injustice of it all as you rotted away, sometimes we’d talk about something else, but we’d be here for ya, mate.

Wouldn’t we.

Of course we would.
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April 1, 2016 8:20pm
Scott Chris

Nostradamus (4,327 comments) says:
April 1st, 2016 at 8:18 pm
Scott Chris:

Was it wrong for me to be honest?

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to Kiwiblog.

Of course, when it comes to interpreting other people’s comments, the distinction between honest and flight of fantasy can be challenging!

I was young once mate! (or maybe twice if you count second base….)
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April 1, 2016 8:22pm
nasska

You’re too good to me Reid.:)
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April 1, 2016 8:23pm
Maggy Wassilieff

Every time a truckload of lambs goes out the gate at about $90/head I start thinking on how we could market them better.

Christen each of your wee woollies with an endearing name and peddle your sad tale on how you would love to keep them on the farm but the Godzilla El Nino has browned off your grass… and unless you can raise a few bob in the next week, they’re off to the abattoir… then post here on Give-a-lot
https://explore.givealittle.co.nz/explore?category=animals&sort=mostpopular.

After you’ve collected all the suckers’ loot send the baa lambs off to the works anyway…. if anyone comes calling, tell them the lambs are out on the back paddock.
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April 1, 2016 8:27pm
Griff

I have often wonder about sheep world as I drive north
Pink sheep. .https://www.tripadvisor.co.nz/LocationPhotoDirectLink-g609161-d1733655-i24439911-Sheepworld-Warkworth_North_Island.html
Who is that supposed to attract?
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April 1, 2016 8:29pm
big bruv

“Or ads for HagleyParkEvents.co.nz?”

Are these posted by D4J?
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April 1, 2016 8:38pm
Scott Chris

Every time a truckload of lambs goes out the gate at about $90/head I start thinking on how we could market them better.

I used to think the same thing during my short stint milking. Beautiful fresian/fresian or fresian/angus cross bobby calves suckling on accumulated unsaleable, spoiling colostrum milk only to be hammered and ground up by some cunt who did it past my chain of command.

I think you have to be born into farming.
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April 1, 2016 8:43pm
Captain Mainwaring

Odakyu-sen.
Best sashimi I ever had (and I’ve had plenty of excellent sashimi in Japan) was tuna freshly caught off the boat in Samoa and eaten within about 10 minutes of swimming in the sea.
Helped by about 3 Vailimas this cured my sea-sickness instantly.
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April 1, 2016 8:49pm
nasska

I can understand why people see it in that light SC. I guess the easiest way to rationalise it is that farmers tend to look at livestock as a product rather than the individual animal.

We don’t relate to it at an emotional level.
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April 1, 2016 8:53pm
Scott Chris

nasska (15,822 comments) says:
April 1st, 2016 at 8:53 pm
I can understand why people see it in that light SC. I guess the easiest way to rationalise it is that farmers tend to look at livestock as a product rather than the individual animal.

We don’t relate to it at an emotional level.

Thanks mate. I also know that the farmer I worked for cried when he had to shoot his 2 teeted backstop when she broke her leg.
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April 1, 2016 9:00pm
RF

starboard. 6.44pm.

My problem is the metal breast plate I have hidden under my shirt. It’s bloody heavy and hot. The satisfaction of the glock bucking in my hand makes up for any discomfort.

I never used the phrase…. Make my day punk…
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April 1, 2016 9:02pm
nasska

….”Were I a lefty: Shame on you nasska, I shall report you forthwith.

Thank fuck I’m not.”…..

Well, that was another close shave! 🙂
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April 1, 2016 9:02pm
Reid

Well, that was another close shave!

I just couldn’t make the Twain quote match up to the punchline nasska, that’s all. But for those who missed it, forever and ever, here’s the opening:

We don’t relate to it at an emotional level.

Not even when the wind blows through ~~their~~ its wool?

And you’ll never know what happened next, unless nasska copied it.

Isn’t that spooky.
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April 1, 2016 9:15pm
nasska

….”Not even when the wind blows through their its wool?”….

Not even then Reid! 🙂
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April 1, 2016 9:18pm
starboard

” I also know that the farmer I worked for cried when he had to shoot his 2 teeted backstop when she broke her leg.”

Harden up shirt lifter..Its after 9, shouldn’t you be loitering around a public shithouse ?
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April 1, 2016 9:25pm
Tauhei Notts

Nasska at 8.53 p.m.
I recall a cow cocky who had four sheep, just to graze those out of the way places.
They got big and he sent them to the stock yards. Then he bought two sheep to take to the home kill man.
There was no way his family could eat those pets.
The auctioneers love people like that.
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April 1, 2016 9:43pm
Scott Chris

reid

I agree with many of your observations but I apply them to a more obvious narrative.

I look at this way. Science seems to be working so follow that model.
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April 1, 2016 9:50pm
nasska

The biggest pains in the arse are pet sheep Tauhei. Every year the kids would bottle feed three or four orphaned lambs. At about four months you’d put them in with the rest of the mob “by mistake”. Even then the bloody things would drive you mad as they had no fear of the dogs they’d grown up alongside.

Then try explaining to a nine year old girl that the roast lamb on the plate in front of her isn’t part of Flossie with the pink ribbon in its ear. 🙂
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April 1, 2016 9:51pm
Maggy Wassilieff

Recycling old politicians
http://wellington.scoop.co.nz/?p=87617

(love the first comment by Ian Apperley)
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April 1, 2016 9:57pm
Scott Chris

Maggy Wassilieff (3,055 comments) says:
April 1st, 2016 at 9:57 pm
Recycling old politicians
http://wellington.scoop.co.nz/?p=87617

(love the first comment by Ian Apperley)

Hi Maggy just wanted to say this; I’m sorry for being a dick sometimes. Your views infuriate me but what the fuck do I know? I’m sorry. Please don’t say anything.
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April 1, 2016 10:14pm
Maggy Wassilieff

Please don’t say anything.

I feel I must say something.

Humbug.
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April 1, 2016 10:35pm
Scott Chris

Humbug.

Okay I get it the spirit of climate future comes back to beg me for oil to baste the dry turkey. My bad.

Anyways turns out little timmy ends up as an impoverished botanists son…..
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April 1, 2016 10:47pm
Shunda barunda

Bring back Kea to liven things up a bit
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April 1, 2016 11:00pm
Shunda barunda

And where is Johnboy?
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April 1, 2016 11:00pm
expat

Left-wing people in the olden daysLeft-wing people used to like working-class people.Lots of left-wing people used to be working-class people. These people were known as socialists and joined trade unions.Sometimes working-class people used to frighten left-wing people, but they pretended that they weren’t frightened and were nice to them.Left-wing people supported working-class people, gave them money, sat in rooms with them and wore badges to show that they cared more than right-wing people, who wore ties instead of badges and didn’t care.NowadaysNowadays, working-class people are bored with socialism because it hasn’t made them rich and happy.Nowadays left-wing people are middle-class people. Working class people are a big disappointment to left-wing people.Left wing people now think that working class people are:a) Simple and easily ledb) Un-enlightened and susceptible to short-term pleasuresc) Terribly sad and struggling, unable to cope on their ownd) All of the aboveEducation is a life-long taskLeft-wing people think that working-class people are unable to think for themselves and require life-long education to help them make informed decisions.Left-wing people work tirelessly on education programmes to encourage working class people to buy expensive food and clothes and not cheap food and clothes. They are disappointed that working-class people are un-ethical.Working-class people like to drink alcohol, have sex and eat tasty food. They do not understand that these activities are dangerous and need continuous education from left-wing people.Working-class people need to be protected from newspapers, even though they don’t read them anymore. They are easily influenced and their happy-go-lucky ways can be turned into bigoted nasty ways. Left-wing people are needed to help them use Facebook carefully and not make mistakes.Left-wing people like to be sad and unhappyMany left-wing people have a very nice life, but they like to be sad. To help with this, they choose to be sad for other people. Sometimes these people are far away and sometimes they are nearby, but different to them.In the olden days, left-wing people tried to make it better for other people. Nowadays, they like to protect them by being offended when a working-class person doesn’t behave properly.Left-wing like to help other people by being offended on their behalf. This means that the other people can carry on with their lives and the left-wing people do all the work. This isn’t really fair, but the left-wing people seem to carry on doing it, so they must enjoy it. Despite all this effort left-wing people are still very sad.Left-wing people care more than other peopleLeft-wing people care so much that they love the whole entire planet. Other people don’t care about the planet, they only care about themselves and other people that they know. This means that left-wing people have to love the planet even more, even more than they actually like other people.Left-wing people show that they care by telling other people about how much they care. They send special “I care” signals to other people. Forwarding videos on Facebook is one way that they can show how much they care. The videos often show people far away who are living miserable lives, but pictures of cute fluffy chickens in nasty factories are considered sufficient.Left-wing activists (see below) are very helpful. They make lots of “I care” videos which makes it quick and easy for left-wing people to send their “signals”. They do this several times throughout each day when they are not busy.Sometimes Left-wing people are made angry by other peopleLeft-wing people care so much, it makes them hate people who don’t show that they care. These people are right-wing people. Left-wing people have given them a name. It is “Tory scum”. Left-wing people like to shout at the right-wing people and tell them that they are scum even when they aren’t listening.Shouting at the Tories is another way to show that they care. Caring is very important to left-wing people.Left-wing people care so deeply that they don’t have time for thinking and convincing. They use their precious time for shouting about caring.Also, working-class people don’t know what left-wing people are saying, so it is helpful when they point to the right-wing people and shout “scum”. They think that working-class people do understand shouting and caring.If you have observed someone and you are not sure if they are a left-wing person, seek their opinion on “the Tories”. If they start to shout and care, they are left-wing.Left-wing activists are helpfulLeft-wing activists are left-wing people who have an internet connection. They make the internet very loud.Left-wing activists help other people care on the internet. They are very helpful in pointing out when people have forgotten to show that they care. They help people in many ways – watching videos, commenting on things and clicking on buttons called “start a petition”. Left-wing activists sometimes go outside their houses and meet other left-wing people and they care together and shout at the Tory scum.Left-wing people are funnyLeft-wing people have “enlightened comedians” who make jokes on “panel games”. These are broadcast on the television and BBC Radio 4.The enlightened comedians make people laugh at right-wing people, whom they consider stupid. In the olden days, comedians made jokes about Irish people, but these comedians weren’t clever like the enlightened comedians.Instead of the Irish people, the enlightened comedians make jokes about working-class people. Because they care, they use special words like “Glaswegians”, “Sun readers” and “UKIP supporters”, so the working-class people will not notice.Working-class people do funny things like drinking Monster energy drinks, eating Haribos and watching television. This is funny and the enlightened comedians are helpful because they point at them and laugh, so we know who to laugh at as well. It is very funny and we all laugh because we are enlightened too.Further readingIn the 1930’s George Orwell wrote about the left-wing people he knew in “The Road to Wigan Pier”. It is very funny -“I have known numbers of middle class Socialists, I have listened by the hour to their tirades against their own class, and yet never, not even once, have I met one who had picked up proletarian table-manners.In his heart he feels that proletarian manners are disgusting…he hates, fears, and despises the working class.”

[url=http://life.spectator.co.uk/2016/03/a-handy-guide-to-left-wing-people-for-the-under-10s/]http://life.spectator.co.uk/2016/03/a-handy-guide-to-left-wing-people-for-the-under-10s/[/url]
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April 1, 2016 11:03pm
Scott Chris

Shunda barunda (3,899 comments) says:
April 1st, 2016 at 11:00 pm
Bring back Kea to liven things up a bit

You need Kea to hold your stroller Shunda?
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April 1, 2016 11:04pm
expat

Left-wing people in the olden daysLeft-wing people used to like working-class people.Lots of left-wing people used to be working-class people. These people were known as socialists and joined trade unions.Sometimes working-class people used to frighten left-wing people, but they pretended that they weren’t frightened and were nice to them.Left-wing people supported working-class people, gave them money, sat in rooms with them and wore badges to show that they cared more than right-wing people, who wore ties instead of badges and didn’t care.NowadaysNowadays, working-class people are bored with socialism because it hasn’t made them rich and happy.Nowadays left-wing people are middle-class people. Working class people are a big disappointment to left-wing people.Left wing people now think that working class people are:a) Simple and easily ledb) Un-enlightened and susceptible to short-term pleasuresc) Terribly sad and struggling, unable to cope on their ownd) All of the aboveEducation is a life-long taskLeft-wing people think that working-class people are unable to think for themselves and require life-long education to help them make informed decisions.Left-wing people work tirelessly on education programmes to encourage working class people to buy expensive food and clothes and not cheap food and clothes. They are disappointed that working-class people are un-ethical.Working-class people like to drink alcohol, have sex and eat tasty food. They do not understand that these activities are dangerous and need continuous education from left-wing people.Working-class people need to be protected from newspapers, even though they don’t read them anymore. They are easily influenced and their happy-go-lucky ways can be turned into bigoted nasty ways. Left-wing people are needed to help them use Facebook carefully and not make mistakes.Left-wing people like to be sad and unhappyMany left-wing people have a very nice life, but they like to be sad. To help with this, they choose to be sad for other people. Sometimes these people are far away and sometimes they are nearby, but different to them.In the olden days, left-wing people tried to make it better for other people. Nowadays, they like to protect them by being offended when a working-class person doesn’t behave properly.Left-wing like to help other people by being offended on their behalf. This means that the other people can carry on with their lives and the left-wing people do all the work. This isn’t really fair, but the left-wing people seem to carry on doing it, so they must enjoy it. Despite all this effort left-wing people are still very sad.Left-wing people care more than other peopleLeft-wing people care so much that they love the whole entire planet. Other people don’t care about the planet, they only care about themselves and other people that they know. This means that left-wing people have to love the planet even more, even more than they actually like other people.Left-wing people show that they care by telling other people about how much they care. They send special “I care” signals to other people. Forwarding videos on Facebook is one way that they can show how much they care. The videos often show people far away who are living miserable lives, but pictures of cute fluffy chickens in nasty factories are considered sufficient.Left-wing activists (see below) are very helpful. They make lots of “I care” videos which makes it quick and easy for left-wing people to send their “signals”. They do this several times throughout each day when they are not busy.Sometimes Left-wing people are made angry by other peopleLeft-wing people care so much, it makes them hate people who don’t show that they care. These people are right-wing people. Left-wing people have given them a name. It is “Tory scum”. Left-wing people like to shout at the right-wing people and tell them that they are scum even when they aren’t listening.Shouting at the Tories is another way to show that they care. Caring is very important to left-wing people.Left-wing people care so deeply that they don’t have time for thinking and convincing. They use their precious time for shouting about caring.Also, working-class people don’t know what left-wing people are saying, so it is helpful when they point to the right-wing people and shout “scum”. They think that working-class people do understand shouting and caring.If you have observed someone and you are not sure if they are a left-wing person, seek their opinion on “the Tories”. If they start to shout and care, they are left-wing.Left-wing activists are helpfulLeft-wing activists are left-wing people who have an internet connection. They make the internet very loud.Left-wing activists help other people care on the internet. They are very helpful in pointing out when people have forgotten to show that they care. They help people in many ways – watching videos, commenting on things and clicking on buttons called “start a petition”. Left-wing activists sometimes go outside their houses and meet other left-wing people and they care together and shout at the Tory scum.Left-wing people are funnyLeft-wing people have “enlightened comedians” who make jokes on “panel games”. These are broadcast on the television and BBC Radio 4.The enlightened comedians make people laugh at right-wing people, whom they consider stupid. In the olden days, comedians made jokes about Irish people, but these comedians weren’t clever like the enlightened comedians.Instead of the Irish people, the enlightened comedians make jokes about working-class people. Because they care, they use special words like “Glaswegians”, “Sun readers” and “UKIP supporters”, so the working-class people will not notice.Working-class people do funny things like drinking Monster energy drinks, eating Haribos and watching television. This is funny and the enlightened comedians are helpful because they point at them and laugh, so we know who to laugh at as well. It is very funny and we all laugh because we are enlightened too.Further readingIn the 1930’s George Orwell wrote about the left-wing people he knew in “The Road to Wigan Pier”. It is very funny -“I have known numbers of middle class Socialists, I have listened by the hour to their tirades against their own class, and yet never, not even once, have I met one who had picked up proletarian table-manners.In his heart he feels that proletarian manners are disgusting…he hates, fears, and despises the working class.”[url=http://life.spectator.co.uk/2016/03/a-handy-guide-to-left-wing-people-for-the-under-10s/]http://life.spectator.co.uk/2016/03/a-handy-guide-to-left-wing-people-for-the-under-10s/[/url]
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April 1, 2016 11:05pm
Reid

I agree with many of your observations but I apply them to a more obvious narrative.

So how does that work on say: my observations on say, Syria since 2012, vs. the “more obvious narrative?”
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April 1, 2016 11:11pm
Shunda barunda

You need Kea to hold your stroller Shunda?

Maybe……….
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April 1, 2016 11:13pm
Scott Chris

So how does that work on say: my observations on say, Syria since 2012, vs. the “more obvious narrative?”

I’d be inclined to describe the situation as it stands. Lotta factions, lotta backers.
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April 1, 2016 11:15pm
Scott Chris

Thing is, if you declared a “point zero” and restarted the clock a whole bunch of tribes would feel marginalised and use scripture to justify their resistance.

Piss people off they will find whatever words they can to right the scales if they don’t feel shit is fair.
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April 1, 2016 11:20pm
Scott Chris

Hell if it gets bad enough some cunt like Trump could get power or Hitler or Stalin. Me, I’d go for the Mongols.
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April 1, 2016 11:23pm
Scott Chris

But I think there are certain parties who stand to benefit from continued conflict.

Identify who those parties are and marginalize them politically and presumably you will have a path to peace.

And I would suggest a Rwandan style amnesty accompanying system.
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April 1, 2016 11:36pm
expat

Test
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April 2, 2016 5:32am
Left Right and Centre

Hi Maggy just wanted to say this; I’m sorry for being a dick sometimes. Your views infuriate me but what the fuck do I know? I’m sorry. Please don’t say anything.

Maggy has views ? The poor dear is too busy wearing her fingers to the bone correcting the various utterances of stupidity. Or sharing a little story. Or just chewing the fat. Or adding a bit of value to another comment. Something about Gisborne occasionally.

left right and centre..your comment on the tail end of yesterdays GD, are you asking me with tongue in cheek, or suggesting that..I hope the former.

I’m asking if you’ll have a tongue in cheek.
What’s wrong with that ? If I had enough fuck off millions of $$$$$$ – would I be typing this shit on KB or knee deep in more whores than I could shake my stick at ?
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April 2, 2016 5:37am
Left Right and Centre

>> TV news is crazy. Did I watch something about a bridge in the third world – some shithole called India – flyover collapsed – killed people. Seven years to build two kms – and it still wasn’t finished. I’m trying to think about the crushed people – no time for that – quick as you like they hit you with seven years and still unfinished. And it was a crap job that fell apart anyway – after all that time being made. What else over there is teetering on the brink of collapse ? What does their building code look like ? Jenga playing rules and instruction sheet ?

>> I hate the ‘first world problem’ slogan but . . . kiwi kids scarred for life because they got Cadbury Easter eggs full of almost nothing but Cherry Ripes instead of a selection of eight out of twelve Cadbury Favourites mini chocolate bars.
That just makes you laugh – hilarious. First there’s Cadbury. Can’t get it right. Come on – there’s twelve different types of something and yet seven out of eight end up one type in an egg. That’s like winning lotto statistically. And then there’s the parents. Cadbury is middle of the road – don’t expect too much – and if I was being harsh – it’s the cheap shit for peasants – you takes ya chances peasants – don’t expect meticulous attention to detail from pineapple chumps. And maybe tell your kids how lucky they are compared to kids being crushed by falling flyovers in India who had to eat Hindu eggs made out of dirt with ants in the middle. That way when everything comes up Cherry Ripe – they won’t be so crushed about it with their wonderful kiwi expectations.

There’s got to be one kid out there who loves Cherry Ripes – and wished they’d got the defective mix. Also – I know they shouldn’t have to but – you could go out and buy a small box of the Faves – there you go little Jayden – and we burnt the Cherry Ripes. You could even get a cheap hollow egg and seal it back up. In fact – you could do that in the first place. That’s my underclass answer. What a mainstream cliche – the child at Easter let down by a commercial chocolate egg with a dodgy sorting mechanism. Jesus wept – hahahaha. It would have to be the old Cherry Ripe – not all Moros. Ahem – ask the child why they eat chocolate eggs on that particular day ? Why an egg, and why chocolate ? Errrr – dunno – blank expression. And you get Roses on Sunday – because that’s when he rose up.

>> Talking of Easter – some people every year blather about wanting the shops open. So that on their day off, other people are at work to serve their needs, not having their own day off. I would just get rid of the whole thing being non-religious – but while it continues . . . it’s not called bloody ‘good shopping friday’ and ‘easter sunday just browsing’. What’s wrong with these people ? Can’t they see that ? What is Easter ? It’s for the nutters to do eastery type things – who knows what. Not – let’s celebrate this part of our religious calendar by going to see a flick and getting some kfc afterwards. To me it’s like being sick. If you’re really sick – take a sick day, you don’t take a sickie to go out and have fun. The Easter days came from when everyone was right into all the eastery schtick. No-one was thinking about how to fill their day off getting 25% discount at a sale and doing non-eastery rubbish that required others to give up their time off to provide them with. If everything can open – it’s just another ‘winners’ and ‘not winners’ day. Everyone has the day off together – that’s the mythical egality that people speak of.
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April 2, 2016 6:18am
Manolo

Goebbels would be proud: http://mrctv.org/blog/video-wh-censors-reference-islamist-terrorism-french-president
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April 2, 2016 6:43am
Manolo

Allahu akbar. The savages use science:
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2016/04/01/isis-reportedly-hijacks-universitys-chem-lab-for-explosive-experiments.html?intcmp=hpbt2
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April 2, 2016 6:46am
Reid

The covert origins of ISIS

https://youtu.be/QPXcHB3sSuM
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April 2, 2016 7:45pm

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