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July 11, 2014 8:00am by Kokila Patel

General Debate 11 July 2014

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General Debate

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big bruv

Not going to tell us about LAX before you go D4J?
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July 11, 2014 7:46pm
goldnkiwi

Wow, the truth always wins, what a relief!!!!!
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July 11, 2014 7:55pm
big bruv

So anyway, what the fuck is a U.B.F?
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July 11, 2014 7:59pm
nasska

A Fundamentalist Minister in Alabama, sorely tempted, finally
propositioned the Choir director one night after practice, when
they were alone in the Church.

“Where Reverend?” she enthusiastically replied.

“Right here on the floor.” he panted.

“It’d be too cold.” she whispered. “How about standing up?”

“Good Lord girl. Have you taken leave of you senses?” he
shouted. “If anyone came in, they’d think we were dancing.”
4 2
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July 11, 2014 8:01pm
stigie

Yes, what the fuck is U.B.F ?
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July 11, 2014 8:14pm
dirty harry

Looks like Trade me has kicked Wheedles arse into touch..

“Online auction site to close
CHRISTCHURCH: Online auction site Wheedle, the only significant competitor to Trade Me in New Zealand, is to close after its sole funder Neil Graham decided against further investment in the company.”
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July 11, 2014 8:31pm
Johnboy

Utterly Broken Fuckwit?

Undoubtedly Beyond Fixing?

Universally Believed Faulty?
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July 11, 2014 8:32pm
dirty harry

U Big Felcher ?
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July 11, 2014 8:34pm
nasska

Had me stonkered too stigie & when in doubt I usually consult the “Urban Dictionary”. I found a few possibilities:

1) An acronym for Ugly best friend. A friend kept around to make yourself look better by comparison.

2) The union of british fascists (UBF) is a political party often unfairly compared to the BNP.

3) Unwiped Butt Feeling. One usually gets this feeling after recently defecating. It is an irritating burn / itch around the anus and can also spread to the surrounding cheeks. Anal leakage and poor wiping are the main causes.

Hope that helps. 🙂

Ref: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=UBF
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July 11, 2014 8:36pm
big bruv

Unpaid Bothering fines?
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July 11, 2014 8:36pm
big bruv

“A friend kept around to make yourself look better by comparison.”

Well, I would not exactly class D4J as a friend.
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July 11, 2014 8:37pm
nasska

Safely drop that one for touch BB. 🙂
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July 11, 2014 8:39pm
Johnboy

3) And I thought that was my piles nasska! 🙂

Have you considered a career in the medical profession my boy? 🙂
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July 11, 2014 8:41pm
big bruv

So D4J has taken his Mrs out for a meal. I had no idea that Denny’s was still open in Christchurch.
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July 11, 2014 8:43pm
nasska

Well, I got quite used to sewing up baring ewes JB & I’ve done a bit of surgery on the dog tuckers. My diagnostic skills are beyond reproach as I can tell something’s rooted just by looking at it.

I’m a bit long in the tooth for the farming racket anyway…..sign me up as a locum. 🙂
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July 11, 2014 8:45pm
stigie

“Had me stonkered too stigie & when in doubt I usually consult the “Urban Dictionary”. I found a few possibilities:”

I should have consulted JB Nasska…he had it covered !~
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July 11, 2014 8:46pm
stigie

Fuck me , i thought that minus cunt went on holiday with the school kids !!~
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July 11, 2014 8:50pm
nasska

I thought he was going out for tea stigie. 🙂
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July 11, 2014 8:51pm
Johnboy

Do you think in your new capacity as a medical specialist you could sort out my itch with your dagging irons nasska?

If so should I consider anaesthetic? Would Gin be OK or should I go for something stronger like Absinthe? 🙂
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July 11, 2014 8:52pm
stigie

Well, is that who minus is Nasska….Blow me away with a feather duster !~
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July 11, 2014 8:53pm
stigie

Consider Gordons JB ?
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July 11, 2014 8:55pm
nasska

Don’t worry about anaesthetic…..you’ll be in the crush & your arse kicked into the holding paddock inside a minute.

I won’t feel a thing. 🙂
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July 11, 2014 8:58pm
cha

Spot the difference.
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July 11, 2014 8:58pm
big bruv

Cha

Actually there are plenty of differences.

1. One of those young ladies is prepared to blow herself up and take as many innocent people with her as possible, the other is not.
2. One of those young ladies can choose to leave her religion if she so desires without penalty. The other leaves her faith on pain of death.
3. One of those young ladies has the law to save her from the rubbish written in the stupid book she is holding, the other does not.
4. One of those young ladies lives in a society where they can change the government if they don’t like it, the other does not.
5. One of those young ladies lives in a society where she is seen as being an equal with her brothers or husband, the other does not.
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July 11, 2014 9:05pm
ShawnLH

“Spot the difference”

The girl on the right is hot. That’s one. And she is unlikely to be blowing herself up in a mall or flying any aircraft into skyscrapers.

That’s three. 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:07pm
ShawnLH

Actually I can think of a fourth difference, but that one would start a flame war so best to leave it for now… 😉
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July 11, 2014 9:09pm
Nookin

It occurs to me that if there is going to be a trial of sorts we could be sure of finding a couple of “lawyers” on kb and sell tickets to the hearing. Maybe cricko and penny can appear for d4j and johnboy, with FES as his junior can appear for bb. I would think that johnboy could front up with a jury of 12 romneys. We could film it. “Meltdown at the KB coral”
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July 11, 2014 9:12pm
Johnboy

The girl on the left has battle experience. She’s taped two mags end for end! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:13pm
big bruv

ShawnLH

Allow me…..

Might it be that one of those young ladies is going to heaven and the other is not?
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July 11, 2014 9:14pm
ShawnLH

Nope bb!
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July 11, 2014 9:16pm
Johnboy

Where can I get 12 jurors like Mitt Nookin! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:16pm
big bruv

Nookin.

I “aint” heading into any courtroom unless I have three hired guns with me. I will take Johnboy as lead counsel, and, of course one would be mad not to use the services of FES. However the ace up my sleeve will be Kiwiblogs very own Denny Crane, I demand that Mr David Garrett is with me as well. 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:17pm
ShawnLH

I doubt D4J is really going to take it that far. That said, I still don’t know what got him all upset.
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July 11, 2014 9:18pm
big bruv

ShawnLH

Then what is it?, short of religion I cannot imagine anything that is going to cause a flame war at this time of night.
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July 11, 2014 9:18pm
Johnboy

I’m happy to arm myself and all the rest of your wise counsel bb! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:19pm
ShawnLH

One is holding a book of fiction, the other isn’t.

No, I have no intentions of defending that position. WAY too long a day for a religious debate.
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July 11, 2014 9:21pm
big bruv

Johnboy

Of course given that D4J has kicked all this off I will expect nothing less than the high court. I think I might hire Dime as my jury consultant, or perhaps to control media and publicity.
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July 11, 2014 9:21pm
Johnboy

There’s a sale on at Hunting and Fishing at the moment. My legal fees would be lower if we take advantage of it! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:21pm
big bruv

Fees????
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July 11, 2014 9:23pm
Johnboy

Sell your story in advance to television bb. That should cover the fees and you’ll never be found guilty as all the jurors will be compromised.

Specially if they’re all Mitt Romneys! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:24pm
Nookin

If you are going in with three top guns, dad may have to draft in judith, bb.
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July 11, 2014 9:26pm
Johnboy

He might prefer Davina. She could comfort him in prison! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:27pm
big bruv

All business transactions will be the domain of Dime. It is all a bit much for a humble cab driver.
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July 11, 2014 9:28pm
big bruv

Nookin.

That is the brilliance of my idea to have our own Denny Crane at the table. All Penny, Judith and co would have to do is take one look at DG and that would send them into meltdown mode.
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July 11, 2014 9:30pm
Johnboy

I hope you haven’t been transporting dime to some of his local cathouse’s bb….may compromise your defence! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:31pm
big bruv

Not me Johnboy. Mind you, what happens in the cab stays in the cab.
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July 11, 2014 9:33pm
RF

BB & Johnboy. How long is this going to last. I am getting a sore finger from giving you guys up ticks.
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July 11, 2014 9:33pm
Nookin

You’re not worried that judith might show denny a bit of thigh and have him melt at the knees?
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July 11, 2014 9:34pm
Johnboy

While you still have a stiff finger perhaps you could assist with my piles RF?

Doctor nasska still hasn’t turned up! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:35pm
RF

Johnboy. Always willing.. Middle finger on standby. I trust the runway is clear as I don’t like surprises. I might be able to squeeze a few drops out of the KY tube. Have you tried the KY thats warm. Red packet.
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July 11, 2014 9:39pm
big bruv

Nookin

Nope, she will be totally flustered as soon as she sees DG.

Anyway, if it all turns to shit I can rely on FES.
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July 11, 2014 9:39pm
Johnboy

Judith will most likely whisk DG away in her hot red V8 for a couple of quick laps around the world. By the time he gets back on the case he’ll be reduced to a gibbering idiot! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:44pm
Nookin

We need a calm level headed judge. Who is that wanker with 4 digits at the end of his name and who speaks in UPPERCASE?
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July 11, 2014 9:48pm
RF

Johnboy. I understand the current price for round the world is $120.00. You have to wear a condom. How is the old prostate.. I can give it a quick squeeze for an extra bottle of scotch whilst I am up there.
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July 11, 2014 9:49pm
big bruv

Nookin

I had not thought about the judge, no doubt old PG will put himself forward. Come to think of it, there is only one man for the job, that man is MT Tinman.
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July 11, 2014 9:53pm
nasska

That’s what’s been lacking around here lately…..people who are not afraid to show their CV & price sheet.

You’ll do well RF. 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:54pm
Johnboy

I’ve never ridden a bike or had a vasectomy RF so it should be OK. I’ll drink the extra bottle myself I think! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 9:56pm
Nookin

I guess thats the team then, tho I suspect that dad may want baiter in his corner somewhere. Dad thinks baiter is his prodigy (he having been here first). Secretly, I think baiter believes dad is mad but just laps up the adulation. What time does Dennys close?
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July 11, 2014 10:03pm
RF

nasska. Any old port in a storm sir. Satisfaction depends on what’s offered. Cash or eftpos. I also charge for watchers.. Disappointed that Johnboy does not want to avail himself of my services. The KY is drying on my finger.

Ah well must not waste it.. Off to track down the good lady. Nite nite.
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July 11, 2014 10:04pm
Johnboy

Not settled yet Nookin. Lets go for Judge Cunningham and everybody will get off with a warning! 🙂
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July 11, 2014 10:11pm
Nookin

We will adjourn, Johnboy. Dad has been quite titillated this week and rather does give the impression that he is well into his foreplay. He may really go off if the crusaders get dicked tomorrow.
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July 11, 2014 10:18pm
Fisiani

NZ chance of being elected to UN Security Council has shot up today on ipredict from 15% to 98%.
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July 11, 2014 10:22pm
cricko

Nookin
Dennys never close. Don’t you know any fricken thing ?
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July 11, 2014 11:09pm
Gulag1917

72% APPROVAL (AMONG MUSLIMS)
http://www.politico.com/story/2014/07/poll-obama-approval-muslims-highest-108797.html
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July 12, 2014 12:26am
Southern Raider

Another Saturday morning, another 2 headline articles in NZ Herald about David Cunliffe and his journey to becoming a PM.

What a crock. Glad I don’t pay for it
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July 12, 2014 8:51am

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