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June 14, 2013 2:46pm by David Farrar

Caption Contest

Words fail me, Hopefully not you, so make your comments below. As always captions should be funny, not nasty.

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Comment71

Humour
NZ Politics
caption contest
Humour
John Key

Comments (71)

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hmmokrightitis

“Its my Captain Mumblefuck headgear, like it?”
9 1
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June 14, 2013 2:48pm
Manolo

Georgina will envy me.
2 0
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June 14, 2013 2:49pm
Scott Chris

John Kiwi.
10 0
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June 14, 2013 2:49pm
Dave Stringer

Told you I was a real Kiwi bloke!
3 0
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June 14, 2013 2:49pm
Pete George

Something like that should be as rare as a unicorn.
1 1
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June 14, 2013 2:55pm
Johnboy

“I can always out cockatoo a ginga aussie galah” ! 🙂
5 1
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June 14, 2013 2:55pm
OTGO

Top of the pecking order me.
3 0
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June 14, 2013 2:56pm
Tristan

Holdor!
1 0
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June 14, 2013 2:57pm
jackkerouacsnephew

he is the best Prime Minister in the history of my country,
he will deAL TO nz fIRST
0 0
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June 14, 2013 3:00pm
jackkerouacsnephew

he is the best Prime Minister in the history of my country,
2 1
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June 14, 2013 3:00pm
cha

Best Attenborough voice:

By some strange evolutionary occurrence, the
nervous system of this bird’s eyelids is
connected to its foreskin. Every time it
winks, it wanks and every time it wanks, it
winks.
2 3
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June 14, 2013 3:01pm
Ed Snack

NOW will you believe that I’m a real Kiwi ?!??
1 1
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June 14, 2013 3:02pm
tvb

He is best Prime Minister by far.
3 1
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June 14, 2013 3:02pm
Johnboy

Didn’t Helen have a bigger one? 🙂
8 0
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June 14, 2013 3:03pm
KiwiGreg

Oh you said “I’m a chick head”?
6 0
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June 14, 2013 3:03pm
Fox

“John Key auditions for NZ’s Next Male Top Model”
3 0
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June 14, 2013 3:04pm
KiwiGreg

Knitted by Helen Clark, she signed it and all.
0 0
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June 14, 2013 3:04pm
berend

“Hi, I’m John Key and I’m the Prime Minster of a serious country.”
1 0
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June 14, 2013 3:05pm
skyblue

I now look like David Shearer aka Richard Cranium.
0 0
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June 14, 2013 3:05pm
BeaB

Shearer is too chicken to wear a hat like this.
3 0
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June 14, 2013 3:05pm
Johnboy

“Tony Ryall told me I’ll only have to wait six days to have it moved three foot lower”.
3 0
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June 14, 2013 3:06pm
Kerikeri

Behold, the rare twin-beaked kiwi!
0 0
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June 14, 2013 3:10pm
Jack5

I’m going as Trevor Mallard – Duck Man.
3 0
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June 14, 2013 3:11pm
Colville

I saw the photo on Stuff…I thought it would be the Sub Standard using it for a caption contest not here…
0 6
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June 14, 2013 3:12pm
RRM

Hope for a generation
Beyond my reach, not beyond my sight
0 0
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June 14, 2013 3:14pm
Johnboy

The difference between lefties and righties Colville is that we righties actually have a fuckin sense of humour! 🙂
11 0
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June 14, 2013 3:14pm
Cunningham

“First there was Kiwibank, then Kiwirail and now I introduce to you ‘KiwiPM’. Unlike the previous 2, I will not cost the country dearly.”
6 0
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June 14, 2013 3:24pm
PaulL

Notice how I’ve cunningly camouflaged my tin foil hat, nobody is noticing a thing.
1 0
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June 14, 2013 3:34pm
Peter

I can look like this and still poll ten times higher than Shearer.
5 0
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June 14, 2013 3:35pm
Changeiscoming

See Redbaiter is right I am progressive.
1 0
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June 14, 2013 3:36pm
Kiwi Dave

The Prime Minister laughed off claims by the Greens that government scientists had genetically engineered a kiwi sheep.
6 0
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June 14, 2013 3:41pm
Judith

“don’t laugh, you have no idea how much I’m saving on hair product by wearing this”.

or

“if you think this is a big pecker, you should see the size of …………..” (and so on)

or

“just because I have bird on my head it should not be taken as an indication I’m feathering my own nest”
1 3
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June 14, 2013 3:45pm
KiwiGreg

Still a better look than the APEC shirt
0 0
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June 14, 2013 3:47pm
KiwiGreg

Said the kiwi “would you believe this started out as a wart on my arse?”
1 0
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June 14, 2013 3:48pm
Johnboy

Gee Judith. Did you get to win “Most likely to fail girl in your class award” for your wit or your width? 🙂
2 1
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June 14, 2013 3:48pm
Peter

John was so confident of his poll ratings, he came dressed as Catherine Delahunty for a laugh.
7 0
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June 14, 2013 3:51pm
jawnbc

Light too bright; sticking my head back in the hole.
2 0
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June 14, 2013 4:00pm
2boyz

Like my new ‘winter Weave’!
0 0
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June 14, 2013 4:01pm
coventry

I borrowed this off Nandor
0 0
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June 14, 2013 4:09pm
MajorBloodnok

This one is much warmer than the last codpiece I tried on.
1 0
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June 14, 2013 4:14pm
b1gdaddynz

That is why people like him…doesn’t take himself too seriously!
3 1
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June 14, 2013 4:17pm
Michael

“No, still not making a bigger dick of myself than Shearer does.”
3 0
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June 14, 2013 4:18pm
Kleva Kiwi

I can wear this ridiculous hat, and still run the country better than any Labour Hack!
0 0
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June 14, 2013 4:19pm
Viking2

Woody Wood Pecker

Spy Detail.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFz4BYh9O2E 😆

http://www.google.com/webhp?btnG=Google+Search#gs_rn=17&gs_ri=psy-ab&suggest=p&cp=7&gs_id=ap&xhr=t&q=Woody+woodpecker&es_nrs=true&pf=p&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&oq=Woody+w&gs_l=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.47883778,d.aGc&fp=310f72deac444e51&biw=1024&bih=573

Enjoy.
0 0
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June 14, 2013 4:36pm
Keeping Stock

“From now on, you will all call me Captain Beaky”
0 0
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June 14, 2013 4:40pm
Shunda barunda

“New Kiwi species discovered, strangely, forest & bird declare it of no ‘National’ significance”
2 0
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June 14, 2013 5:15pm
Shunda barunda

“Newly discovered twin beaked Kiwi said to have more resilience against introduced Australian pests”
1 0
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June 14, 2013 5:21pm
Tookinator

“Iusually store it down my trousers….”
0 0
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June 14, 2013 5:26pm
kino flo

Fish guards kiwi.
1 0
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June 14, 2013 5:28pm
Andronicus

“Of course I take my job seriously, whatever gave you that idea?”
2 0
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June 14, 2013 5:48pm
Dennis Horne

Who said I can’t see passed the end of my nose?
1 0
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June 14, 2013 6:02pm
Roflcopter

“Goldfish attacks PM while seagull craps on his head.”
0 0
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June 14, 2013 6:07pm
Dennis Horne

Cock a doodle do!
To Shearer: “Boo hoo”
The public you can’t woo
‘Cos you don’t know what to do.
2 0
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June 14, 2013 6:10pm
Johnboy

Jeeze Dennis. How can you be considered as Poet Laureate of KB with rhymes such as those? 🙂
3 0
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June 14, 2013 6:18pm
marcw

“I just poked my head in to say hello, but they still saw through my cunning plan.”
1 0
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June 14, 2013 6:23pm
marcw

“It’s less gay than your red jersey.”
2 0
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June 14, 2013 6:31pm
mavxp

John Key announces that in addition to feeding New Zealand’s children breakfast, they will also be clothed with “Goodnight Kiwi” themed outfits, to ensure they are warm during their morning walks to school. He followed this announcement with news that Japanese-designed toilets were to be installed in all NZ primary schools, which includes the feature of wiping their little arses after they poop. David Shearer countered this announcement by stating that Labour would in addition provide the feature-filled toilets to all NZ holmes, since “wiping the parents arses was clearly where government dollars should be spent.”
4 0
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June 14, 2013 6:58pm
Dennis Horne

@JohnBoy. Quite happy to pass the torch!

Cock a doodle do!
Shearer’s in the poo
Robinson’s in the wing
And Cunliffe’s still got sting
I’m John Keywee playing ballyhoo.
3 0
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June 14, 2013 7:10pm
wf

Dennis, it doesn’t scan!

It should read like this:

Dumpity dumpity dum
Dumpity dumpity dum
Di dumpity dum
Di dumpity dum,
Di dumpity dumpity dum!

Lines 1,2 and 5 rhyme, and 3 & 4 also, but with a different rhyme.
1 1
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June 14, 2013 7:36pm
Steve (North Shore)

“Hey Shearer, I’m doing this on purpose to show the Labour Party what dickheads look like. Your turn to show us what dickheads look like. What’s that? Sorry could not hear you. You know you can not do that to yourself, well maybe in the Labour Party you can”
1 0
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June 14, 2013 7:38pm
Dennis Horne

@wf. Is this better?

Dumpity dumpity dum
Dumpity dumpity dum
Di dumpity dum
Di dumpity dum,
Di dumpity dumpity dum! 🙂
2 0
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June 14, 2013 7:49pm
Judith

Dennis Horne (1,338) Says:
June 14th, 2013 at 7:49 pm

—————————–

I’m sorry, but I think that final line should have more emphasis and end with an added ‘Di dum’, to provide a sort grand ending.
1 3
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June 14, 2013 8:24pm
Dennis Horne

@Judith. Always willing to take lessons, Judith. Actually, wf is wrong. Limerick form is 1,2,5 rhyme; 3,4 rhyme. It’s up to the reader to make it scan, if he can.
2 1
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June 14, 2013 9:02pm
Fletch

“I’ve been internalising a really complicated situation in my head”.
1 0
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June 14, 2013 9:53pm
Mark

John has been voted “dick of the day”by the National Caucus and is required to wear that for 24 hours 🙂
1 1
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June 14, 2013 10:22pm
KevinH

Gee Normie these Greens parties are a riot, especially that funny smelling cake, but heck you can still get fucked.
0 0
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June 15, 2013 1:41am
ChardonnayGuy

“Er John, that’s not the funny hat you need to wear if you want to become a Freemason…”
0 0
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June 15, 2013 12:13pm
Shunda barunda

Kiwi f@ck head!!

(that was from my wife) 😉
0 0
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June 15, 2013 5:17pm
SPC

Nothing sticks to a unicorn.
0 0
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June 15, 2013 5:58pm
duggie

Labour has nitwits, National has knit wit.
0 0
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June 16, 2013 12:02am
Jamescng

“I escaped from my Jesuit minders – hahaha- where is the nearest primary school?”
0 0
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July 25, 2013 11:40am

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