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December 1, 2012 8:00am by Kokila Patel

General Debate 1 December 2012

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General Debate

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Viking2

Fifty Shades of Grey – A husbands view

The missus bought a Paperback
…down Shepton, Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;
T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went of to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip..

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer..
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
…..I am the dominator !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!

Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.. :
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December 1, 2012 9:33pm
chiz

Fletch: Every year the Bible is being proved more and more accurate, with regard to new archaeological findings on the peoples and cultures mentioned therein – proving they existed and that events mentioned also happened.

And, yet, we have a rampant evidence that the Bible has been modified by scribes.
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December 1, 2012 9:35pm
Griff

Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home.

“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old. “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!”

“Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you can’t take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin’ comes out!”

“Actually,” said the 80-year-old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.”

“Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked the 60-year-old.

“No…not really. I pee every morning at 6:00 am. I piss like a race horse; no problem at all.”

“Do you have trouble taking a crap?” asked the 70-year-old.

“Well, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6:30 am.”

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, “Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 am and take a crap every morning at 6:30. What’s so tough about being 80?”

To which the 80-year-old replied, “I don’t wake up until 10:00 am.”
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December 1, 2012 9:38pm
Griff

The Labour Party is allowing former Member of Parliament John Tamihere to rejoin.

The party’s national executive accepted his application today at a meeting in Wellington.

http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/tamihere-allowed-rejoin-labour-party-5253333
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December 1, 2012 9:42pm
Viking2

A traveller through England on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification.
Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the Australian Customs Agents at the airport.

“May I see your identification, please?” asked the agent. “I’m sorry, but I lost my wallet,” replied the bloke.
“Sure mate, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry,” said the agent. “But I can prove I’m an Australian!” he exclaimed.
“I have a picture of Bob Hawke tattooed on one side of my arse and Paul Keating on the other..”
“This I gotta see, replied the agent. With that, the bloke dropped his strides and showed the agent his behind.
“By hell, you’re right!” exclaimed the agent. “Have a safe trip back to Melbourne .” “Thanks!” he said.

“But how did you know I was from Melbourne ?” The agent replied,
“I recognized Gillard in the middle.”
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December 1, 2012 9:44pm
Viking2

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/ItXKGyO6cRA?rel=0
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December 1, 2012 9:56pm
Viking2

For all you farmers out there

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9yHl24QynOM
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December 1, 2012 10:05pm
Lance

Oh surprise
Luc spouts forth drivel.
Is then proven to be wrong

Ad hominem time

You are Reid behave the same. Slippery left dodgem tactics.
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December 2, 2012 12:56am
Pete George

Very good win to England, decisive and in style. The ABs just weren’t up to it but it won’t do them any harm, had to lose some time.
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December 2, 2012 5:31am

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