I’ve got an eel up my bum but don’t tell anyone

The Herald reports:

Hospital bosses have launched an investigation into a breach of patient privacy after details of an eel getting stuck up a man’s bottom were made public.

The Auckland District Health Board said this afternoon that it would investigate “the apparent inappropriate access of clinical records and the possible separate leaking of information to the media”.

The Herald on Sunday reported that an unnamed man who turned up at Auckland City Hospital last month was sent for X-rays and a scan, which showed there was an eel lodged inside him.

Board chief executive Ailsa Claire, who began her role this week, said high standards of professionalism were expected from staff.

“One of the fundamental responsibilities of working in a healthcare environment is showing respect for patients’ right to privacy,” she said.

t”I take that responsibility very seriously indeed and I expect our staff to work and act at all times with a level of professionalism that honours the trust our patients place in us.”

Ms Claire said any breach of a patient’s privacy was taken seriously and, if proved, would result in disciplinary action.

Oh come on, are we not getting a bit precious.

If anything was done to identify the actual patient, that would be very serious.

But do you really think medical staff are not going to talk about how they found an eel up someone’s bottom?

A&E doctors and nurses are often asked about the most unusual things they have had to remove from patients. As long as it is general and not naming an individual, what’s the harm?

The Herald on Sunday reported a hospital source as saying the eel was “about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus”.

“The incident is the talk of the place. Doctors and nurses have come across people with strange objects that have got stuck where they shouldn’t be before, but an eel has to be a first,” the source was reported as saying.

Of course it is the talk of the place. We get too precious sometimes.