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October 7, 2012 8:00am by Kokila Patel

General Debate 7 October 2012

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General Debate

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noskire

Kea (141) Says:
October 7th, 2012 at 7:54 pm
Sorry Kea, I’ll post a comment that contains content and has a point.

You’re an idiot.

Very thought provoking noskire. Allow me a few moments to absorb all that before replying…

Getting back to Tyson, rape is not even close to being one of the worst or most hideous crimes. That observation may not fit the hard line feminist narrative that has been normalised in the Western world, but that does not make it any less of a self evident truth.

So what’s your point? And how does it relate to Mike Tyson and Nelson Mandela.
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October 7, 2012 8:00pm
Griff

The Sound of Pigs

A primary school teacher in the otara decided to see if city kids knew
what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to raise their hands
if they knew the correct sounds.
“Who knows what sound a cow makes?” she asked.
Mary put her hand up and said, “Mooooo!”
“Very good,” replied the teacher. “What sound does a sheep make?”
“Baaaa,” answered Billy.
She continued this for a while. Then she asked, “What sound does a pig
make?”
All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the response.
She chose little polywog at the back of the class.
He stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed, “Up against the wall,
mutha-fucka!”
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October 7, 2012 8:02pm
Kea

Actually Johnboy I am a bit out of my depth on this topic. You should ask that question on this site : http://thehandmirror.blogspot.co.nz/

They post allot on the topic, so I guess they are experts or something…
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October 7, 2012 8:03pm
nasska

Cultural laws

1) In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

2) In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

3) Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)

4) The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Wonder which head?)

5) There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time… Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let’s just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

6) In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

7) Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England – but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

8) In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

9) In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I gather this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

10) In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.” (Is this a great country or what? …Not as great as Guam!)
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October 7, 2012 8:03pm
Johnboy

I always look in the mirror while giving myself a handjob Kea and KY is a must as a man gets old and his skin gets thin. 🙂
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October 7, 2012 8:07pm
Kea

noskire, my point is self evident. I can not make it any clearer. I was obviously remarking on the double standard many appear to have. The most horrible acts of murder and violence do not invoke the same reaction as an instance of rape. We saw the same intemperate hysteria with Wilson, who is not even close to being most risky released prisoner, to public safety.
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October 7, 2012 8:08pm
Johnboy

A farmer finds his son behind the barn pulling his pud, and the old man exclaims, “Son, if you are old enough to do that, then you are old enough to get married.” The next day the farmer takes his son across the hollow and arranges a wedding between his boy and the neighbor’s daughter. The two are soon married and move in with the groom’s father. The next morning, the farmer goes behind the barn again and discovers his son flailing away, just as before. “Son, I got you married so you wouldn’t have to do that!”

“Ah, pa, she ain’t got no grip at all…”
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October 7, 2012 8:08pm
Griff

The Perfect Car

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots
the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the
fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has
noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn’t pop up
right now.
As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman. “Good
day, Madame. How may we help you today?”
Very uncomfortably she asks, “Sir, what is the price of this lovely
vehicle?”
He answers, “Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to
shit when you hear the price.”
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October 7, 2012 8:08pm
Kevin

My eyebrows certainly raised when i recieved an email originating from a large nz left wing university, that tyson was coming. I thought that would cause some consternation, but very little. The lefties were between a rock and a hard place – help “at risk” youth or prove feminist credentials by complaining against Tyson.

I have no love of the cun* but its…

The hypocrisy of it all gets me. The same feminazis closing down Tyson would support short or no prison sentences for violent offenders and killers and would support immigration from the islands by convicted offenders.
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October 7, 2012 8:11pm
Johnboy

Time we rural folks diversified, value added they keep telling us! 🙂

A guy’s driving down a country road when he comes upon a sign saying “Apples – $5.00 each.” He thinks that that is a lot of money so he decides to go see what’s up. He goes up to the farmer and says, “Hey, how come these apples are 5 bucks each?”

The farmer replies, “They are peanut butter and jelly apples.” The farmer hands him one and says, “Here, try one.”

So the man takes a bite out of the apple and says, “Peanut butter – that’s great, but I thought you said that they were peanut butter and jelly apples.”

The farmer tells the man to turn it around. The man bites the other side and exclaims “son of a gun – jelly!”

The man says, “These apples are great – give me some.”

He gets back in his car and drives a little further down the road and then sees another sign “Apples – $10 each.”

Again, he pulls over, goes to the farmer and says, “Hey, what’s up with these apples?”

The farmer says, “They’re ham and cheese apples. Here, try one.”

The guy takes a bit and exclaims, “Son of a gun – ham!” The guy then says, “Let me guess – I have to turn it around.”

The farmer says “You got it.”

The guy bites the other side and says, “Cheese.” Again the man says, “These apples are great – give me some.”

Then he gets back in his car and drives down the road. He comes upon a third sign that says “Apples – $50 each.”

The guy really wants to see what’s up with these apples. Again, he pulls over, goes up to the farmer and says, “What’s the deal with these apples? 50 bucks each?”

The farmer tells him that “These apples are pussy apples. Here, try one.”

The guy takes a bite out of it and says, “Yuck! This apple tastes like shit.”

The farmer says, “Turn it around!”
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October 7, 2012 8:13pm
nasska

A recent survey of North American women found 42% were overweight, 34% were critically obese and 8% ate the survey….
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October 7, 2012 8:14pm
Griff

To Be an Egg
It’s a bummer to be an egg because…
1) You only get laid once.
2) You only get eaten once.
3) It takes 7 minutes to get hard.
4) You have to come in a box with 11 others.
5) The only one who’ll sit on your face is your mother.
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October 7, 2012 8:16pm
Viking2

On a one-man crusade to focus the public mind

by: David Uren
From: The Australian
October 06, 2012 12:00AM

MARTIN Parkinson is on a one-person crusade to force Australians to decide what government services they are prepared to pay for.

In speeches throughout the year, the Treasury secretary has warned that federal and state governments face years of budget pain with, at best, razor-thin surpluses. The rivers of company and capital gains tax revenue (and stamp duties for the states) that flowed before the global financial crisis have dried up and will not return.

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/opinion/on-a-one-man-crusade-to-focus-the-public-mind/story-e6frg9qo-1226489512213
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October 7, 2012 8:17pm
Yvette

Johnboy, put the KY on the bedroom door knob – stops the rams from butting in
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October 7, 2012 8:18pm
Johnboy

“You have to come in a box with 11 others.”

I did that once. I was number 11. I couldn’t feel the sides! 🙂
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October 7, 2012 8:18pm
Johnboy

Don’t be silly Yvette. If I put it on the door knob the wife would think she had met a black mon! 🙂
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October 7, 2012 8:20pm
nasska

“Childbirth pain greatly exaggerated”, according to a survey of 1000 men.
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October 7, 2012 8:21pm
Kevin

John Ansell is having a planning meeting instead if any aucklanders are interested in being ACTIVELY involved.
http://johnansell.wordpress.com/2012/10/07/launch-meeting-off-planning-meeting-on/
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October 7, 2012 8:21pm
Griff

Stretching A Dime

A Ukrainian and a Jew were discussing how far each could make a dime
reach, and agreed to try it and meet a few days later to see who’d get
the most out of a dime.
The Jew bought a cigar, and smoked one-third the first day and saved
the ashes. He smoked one-third the second day and saved the ashes. He
smoked one-third the third day and again saved the ashes, and on the
fourth day he gave the ashes to his wife to use as fertilizer on her
roses.
He told the Ukrainian, “I know you can’t beat that for stretching a
dime.”
The Ukrainian said, “I got you beat. I bought a Polish sausage for a
dime, and the first day I ate one-half, and on the second day I ate
the other one-half. The third day I used the skin for a condom, and
the fourth day I took a shit in the skin and sewed it back up. The
fifth day I took it back to the butcher and told him it smelled like
shit. He agreed with me and gave me my dime back!”
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October 7, 2012 8:22pm
Johnboy

The minister had just finished an excellent chicken dinner at the home of a member of his congregation when he saw a rooster come strutting through the yard.

“That’s certainly a proud-looking rooster you have there,” the minister commented.

“Yes, sir,” replied the farmer. “He has reason to be proud — one of his daughters has just entered the ministry!”
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October 7, 2012 8:22pm
bereal

noskire @ 6.32

You just don’t get it.
You just aren’t able to get it.
You will never get it.
It’s beyond you.

NZ kids who feel they have no hope will relate to Tyson.

Tyson had no hope but rose to be Champion of the World.

He might not motivate you or others of your ilk.
Thats not the point.

His rape matter is not the point.
How many kids in South Auckland care that Tyson has a rape conviction ?
How many are impressed that he is the Baddest Man on the Planet and Champion of the World ?

His success is in rising above a seemingly hopeless situation to succeed.

He can speak to kids from South Auckland who will listen for eg and give them hope.

You noskire, just do not understand.
Your type will never understand.

Your type are the problem, but you are unable to grasp that.
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October 7, 2012 8:26pm
Griff

Four Nuns
It was Friday, and four nuns went to the priest at the local Catholic
church to ask for the weekend off. They argued back and forth for a
few minutes. Finally the priest agreed to let them leave the convent
for the weekend.
“However”, he said, “as soon as you get back Monday morning I want you
to confess to me what you did over the weekend.” The four nuns agree,
and run off.
Monday comes, and the four nuns return. The first nun goes to the
priest and says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The priest
asks, “What did you do, Sister?” She replies, “I watched an R-rated
movie.” The priest looks up at heaven for a few seconds, then replies,
“You are forgiven. Go and drink the holy water.”
The first nun leaves, and the fourth nun begins to chuckle quietly
under her breath. The second nun then goes up to the priest and says,
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The priest replies, “OK, what
happened?” She says, “I was driving my brother’s car down the street
in front of his house, and I hit a neighbours dog and killed it.”
The priest looks up to heaven for half a minute, then says, “You are
forgiven. Go and drink the holy water.” The second nun goes out. By
this time, the fourth nun is laughing quite audibly.
Then the third nun walks to the priest and says, “Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.” The priest asks, “Out with it. What did you do?”
She says, “Last night, I ran naked up and down Main Street.”
The priest looks up at heaven for a full five minutes before
responding, “God forgives you. Go and drink the holy water.” She
leaves.
The fourth nun falls on the floor, laughing so hard tears run down her
cheeks. The priest asks her, “OK. What did you do that was so darn
funny?”
The fourth nun replies, “I peed in the holy water…”
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October 7, 2012 8:30pm
Johnboy

Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland.

Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night?

The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.

As the story goes, the farmer’s daughter asked her father, “Who is that man going into the barn?”

“That fellow traveling through,” said the farmer. “Needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn.”

The daughter said, “Perhaps he is hungry.” So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.

About an hour later, the daughter returned, her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.

The farmer’s wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn, and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.

The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.

When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. “How could he leave without even saying goodbye,” she cried. “We made such passionate love last night.”

“What?” shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.

The farmer screamed up at him, “I’m going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!”

The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yodeled…..

“LAIDTHEOLLADYTOO”
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October 7, 2012 8:33pm
Kevin

Bereal, there are literally hundreds of no hopers turned good running youth programs in south Auckland. Also our heavily taxpayer subsidised sport industry already takes that message to these kids and hence the unequal distribution of ethnicity in our top sports teams.

What is needed is to take the message to these youth to get a bloody education because only a tiny fraction can raise themselves through sport.
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October 7, 2012 8:33pm
bereal

Kevin.

And your point in relation to Mike Tyson is… ?

Soulan Pounceby ran a few programes, he was a no hoper supposedly turned good. How did that work out ?

Would you grant Tyson a visa Kevin ?
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October 7, 2012 8:42pm
Griff

Redbaiter started going into the neighbourhood chemist every
week and buying 2 dozen boxes of condoms. Week after week he would
come in with the same order. One day the chemist felt he had to say
something to the man.
“Wow! You must have the stamina of a bull. Talk about getting lucky!
How on earth do you use that many condoms a week?”
Redbaiter looked at him in disgust and said, “I beg your pardon, but I
find the whole idea of sex repulsive!”
So, the chemist asked, “Then what do you do with all those condoms?”
Redbaiter answered, “I feed them to my poodle and now she poops in
little plastic bags.”
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October 7, 2012 8:45pm
nasska

An old aristocrat arrives home one evening and, as usual, his butler helps him take off his overcoat.

“Well, you smelly old bastard,” says the butler, “been off boozing and shagging whores again, have we?”

“No, James,” says the count, “I was in town buying a new hearing aid and you’re fired.”
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October 7, 2012 8:46pm
Kevin

Its that these kids do not need people lying to them that their way out is to do sport, music, dance or other aspirational bs. Their way out is the same as everyone else- get an education and work hard.

It’s a difficult one. If I was in wilkinsons shoes I’d find out how many crims get let in then use it to defend giving him a short visa, saying its an exception and will not become a rule.
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October 7, 2012 8:51pm
Griff

Date Rape Drug
Be on the lookout! Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers, and
unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a
drink from any woman. A date rape drug on the market, called “beer”,
is used by females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is found in
liquid form, and is now available almost anywhere. “Beer” is used by
emale sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male
victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs
only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of “beer” and then
simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered
helpless against this approach.
After several “beers” men will often succumb to desires to perform
sexual acts on women to whom they would never normally be attracted.
After drinking “beer”, men often awaken with only hazy memories of
exactly what happened the night before…usually with a vague feeling
that something bad occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life
savings in a familiar scam known as “a relationship”. Apparently men
are much more susceptible to this scam after “beer” is administered
and sex is offered by the predatory female. Please! Forward this
warning to every male you know. However, if you fall victim to this
insidious “beer” and the predatory women administering it, there are
male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss
the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner
with similarly affected, like-minded guys. For the support group
nearest you, just look up “golf courses” in the yellow pages.
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October 7, 2012 8:52pm
nasska

I approached a fat chick sitting by her self in the club last night.

“Are you all by your self?” I asked.

“No,” she smiled. “I’m on a blind date & he’s gone to the toilet.”

“Oh yes,” I said. “Tall? Dark hair? Blue shirt?”

“How do you know that?” She frowned.

“He’s just been trying to get out of the window in the gent’s.”
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October 7, 2012 8:58pm
Griff

After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, Shane Jones
took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the
dressing table.
“Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.”
“Twenty bucks for the entire night?” the amazed shane replied.
“You can’t make a living on that.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” the whore replied. “I do a little blackmail on
the side!”
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October 7, 2012 9:02pm
nasska

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and says to the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”. “No. What did that stupid shit do this time?”, says the patron. “Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole”, says the bartender. “Yeah, well I hope it kills the little bastard because he’s been driving me nuts”, says the patron. The guy finishes his drink and leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back in with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a grape on the bar. He grabs the grape, sticks it up his arse, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks. “What now?”, responds the patron. “Well, he stuck a grape up his arse, then pulled it out and ate it”, says the barkeeper.
“Well, what did you expect?”, replied the patron. “Ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!”
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October 7, 2012 9:07pm
Griff

Little Johnny was playing in the farm yard one morning.
The chickens were out running around, and getting in Little Johnny’s
way. In a temper tantrum he started running after them and kicking
them. His mother caught him kicking the chickens, and said, “That’s
it! No eggs for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny was playing in the pasture, and soon
started chasing the cattle and kicking them with his feet. His mother
again caught him, and after a brief moment of thought, said, “No milk
for you for one month!”
Early that evening, Johnny’s mother was cooking dinner in the kitchen
when his father came in from the barn. As he closed the door the
barnyard cat slipped into the kitchen. Johnny’s father gave the cat a
kick back outside.
Little Johnny looked at his mother and said “Are you going to tell
him, Mommy, or do you want me to?”
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October 7, 2012 9:10pm
bereal

Kevin

You missed the point so badly.
Tyson and you are actually on the same page.
You have put your wrong warped interpretation on to it.
You are the drong that has assumed the only way forward is sport, dance, music etc.

Not the case Kevin.

Tysons message is, Have a dream, have a goal, go for it whether it’s art, science, whatever.
Go for it.
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October 7, 2012 9:20pm
Griff

Shit beryl you are on the piss again and doing serial stalking. Wasn’t it PG last week?
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October 7, 2012 9:23pm
Johnboy

A young man graduated from University of Arkansas with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper who hired him was to write a human interest story. Being from Arkansas, he went back to the country to do his research. He went to an old farmer’s house way back in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer and proceeded to explain to him why he was there.

The young man asked, “Has anything ever happened around here that made you happy?” The farmer thought for a minute and said, “Yep! One time one of my neighbor’s sheep got lost. We formed a posse and found it. We all screwed it and took it back home.”

“I can’t print that!” the young man exclaimed. “Can you think of anything else that happened that made you or a lot of other people happy?”

After another moment, the farmer said, “Yeah, one time my neighbor’s daughter, a good looking girl, got lost. We formed a big posse that time and found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home.”

Again, the young man said “I can’t print that either. Has anything ever happened around here that made you sad?”

The old farmer dropped his head as if he were ashamed and after a few seconds looked up timidly at the young man and said, “I got lost once.”
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October 7, 2012 9:24pm
Johnboy

A city slicker was driving through the country when he spotted a horse standing in a field. He was quite taken with the animal and so pulled over to ask the farmer if it was for sale.

“Afraid not,” said the farmer.

“I’ll give you a thousand bucks!” said the city fella.

“I can’t sell you that horse. He don’t look too good,” replied the farmer.

“I know horses, and he looks fine. I’ll give you two thousand!”

“Well, all right, if you want him so bad.”

The next day, the man returned the horse, screaming that he had been gypped. “You sold me a blind horse!”

“Well,” said the farmer, “I told you he didn’t look too good.”
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October 7, 2012 9:27pm
Griff

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Good: You’re pregnant. Bad: It’s triplets. Ugly: Your husband had a
vasectomy five years ago.
Good: Your husband is not talking to you. Bad: He wants a divorce.
Ugly: He’s a lawyer.
Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He’s involved with the woman
next door. Ugly: So are you.
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several
pornographic movies hidden there. Ugly: You’re in them.
Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He’s a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.
Good: You give “the birds and the bees” talk to your 14-year-old
daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections.
Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your
co-workers are her best clients. Way Ugly: She makes more money than
you do!
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October 7, 2012 9:31pm
Johnboy

A farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him against a charge of bestiality.

“I know a great trial lawyer,” the fellow said, “but he’s expensive and doesn’t know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer,” he continued, “who’s not a great trial lawyer, but he’s cheap and really knows how to pick a jury.”

The farmer settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second thoughts when the key witness, a neighbor, began his testimony.

“I saw Jed mount his sheep from behind,” he said, “and when he was finished, I saw the sheep turn around and lick Jed’s pecker.”

The accused farmer was devastated and had all but given up hope until a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow next to him, “You know, a good sheep will do that.”

😆
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October 7, 2012 9:37pm
Griff

The President on Abortion

President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one
of his aides nervously approach him.
“What is it?” yells the President.
“It’s this abortion bill, Mr. President. What do you want to do about
it?” the aide asks.
“Just go ahead and pay it.” responds the President.
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October 7, 2012 9:45pm
Johnboy

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farmhand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farmhand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash.

“No!” yelled the farmer, “Don’t throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them, they’re delicious! They’re called Sheep Fries!”

The farmhand saved the parts and took them to the farmer’s wife who cooked them up for supper. This went on for three days….and each evening they had Sheep Fries for supper.

On the fourth night the farmer came in to the house for supper. He asked his wife where the farmhand was and she repied, “It’s the strangest thing! When he came in and asked what was for supper, I told him French Fries and he ran like hell!”
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October 7, 2012 9:50pm
Griff

Three mice are at a bar, having drinks, talking about how tough they
are. The first mouse slams down a shot of booze, says, “Let me tell
you how tough I am.”
I spot a trap and go for the cheese. When it snaps, I snatch the bar
and bench press it 20 or so times and before it can close I’m outa
there!” and he tosses down another shot.
The second mouse slams down a shot and says, “You think that’s tough?
When I find a pile of ratbait, I crush it and snort it like it’s
cocaine.” With that he throws down another shot and slams his
shotglass on the bar.
The first two are staring at the third mouse, waiting to see what he
has to say for himself.
He fires down a shot of booze, throws down his glass and heads for the
door. His buddies look at each other, then at him and say, “Hey, where
are YOU going?”
The third mouse says, “I haven’t got time for this shit, I need to get
home to screw the cat.”
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October 7, 2012 9:53pm
bereal

Griff @ 9.23

i was looking forward to a response from Kevin or at least anyone/ someone with a brian cell to rub together.

Sadly, so far all we have is your response Griff.

How sad.

Any response, even from a person with a modicum of a sense of humour would have been good.
But.

Griff, i respect Kevins point of view.
However.

Griff.
“You are no Kevin.”
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October 7, 2012 9:55pm
Johnboy

A farmer passed away and left seventeen mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth.

The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions began to argue. Their uncle Earl heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. Uncle Earl added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or 9, the second oldest got one-third, or 6, and the youngest got one- ninth, or 2. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. Then uncle Earl, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.

Uncle Earl is an occasional consultant to POTUS. 🙂
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October 7, 2012 9:56pm
Griff

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a
mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the
farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm
but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s Porsche back
to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws
the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car
forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow
again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to
the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, ‘I
think I can stand over the hole!’ So he stretched over the width of
the hole and said, ‘Grab for my ‘thingy’ and pull yourself up.’ And
the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Porsche to pick up
chicks!
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October 7, 2012 10:08pm
Johnboy

Three women were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman “in what position was the baby conceived ?”

“He was on top “, she replied.
“You will have a boy !” the doctor exclaimed.

The second woman was asked the same question.
“I was on top “, was the reply.
“you will have a baby girl. ” said the doctor.

With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears.
“What’s the matter ?” asked the doctor?
“Am I going to have puppies ?”
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October 7, 2012 10:23pm
Griff

Politics Explained

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”
Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the
breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom,
she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the
Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you
the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your
baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see
if that makes sense,”
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to
check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding
the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed
with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning,
the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I Understand the
concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your
own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy
replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the
Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the
Future is in deep shit.”
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October 7, 2012 10:30pm
Johnboy

I think we have got nasska fucked tonight Griff! 🙂
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October 7, 2012 10:33pm
Johnboy

There once was a farmer who was raising three daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered the late teens, the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date.

This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.

The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Father answered the door and the lad said, “Hi, my name’s Joe. I’m here for Flo. We’re going to the show, is she ready to go?” The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way.

The next lad arrived and said, “My name’s Eddie. I’m here for Betty. We’re gonna get some spaghetti. Is she ready?” Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.

The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, “Hi, my name’s Chuck…” And the farmer shot him.
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October 7, 2012 10:37pm
Luc Hansen

As if DPF isn’t bad enough, I see the lunatics hour is upon us.

Woe is us.
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October 7, 2012 11:40pm
Manolo

The debate continues: http://washingtonexaminer.com/liberals-fret-is-obama-bored-does-he-want-a-second-term-maybe-not./article/2510054#.UHHAjlFq3nh
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October 8, 2012 6:54am
Kevin

Sorry bereal, yes I see your point and agree that he could help, hence my erring on the side ot letting Tyson in. But having watched these programs for decades, which are often about ensuring ongoing funding and employment for the providers, and helped by tutoring these kids myself etc I guess I’m cynical because nothing ever changes.
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October 8, 2012 11:37am

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