General Debate 20 August 2012

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Fletch

BOOMSHANKER!
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August 20, 2012 8:03am
Don the Kiwi

Off to work. (Bummer – Monday)

Sad news about three more of our men killed in Afghanistan.
May God have mercy on them and bring them to Himself.

“A greater love no man has, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
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August 20, 2012 8:06am
Say Goodbye to Hollywood

So Julian Assange wants the US to end the witch hunt. Poor Julian, suck it up tough guy.
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August 20, 2012 8:12am
boredboy

More Garth George rubbish over the weekend:

http://www.rotoruadailypost.co.nz/news/garth-george-same-sex-question-remains-why/1508761/

“You can bet that within a few days of this column appearing I will be labelled a homophobe. I decline to wear that appellation because I have no phobias about homosexuality, male or female.”

It is good that he declines to wear that appellation because he is not a homophobe he is, to echo Morgan Freeman’s recent sentiments, an arsehole.
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August 20, 2012 8:33am
Sofia

Our government is already a staunch supporter of the TPP, which has been under negotiation by Pacific Rim countries since 2005.

Agreement has yet to be reachec on a key section of the free trade deal – a US authored chapter on copyright, which opponents say is heavy-handed and would require the re-writing of NZ laws. They see it not just impacting on those who try to play an out-of-region DVD, but the likes of NZ generic drug maker Douglas Pharmaceuticals and retailers who parallel import.
Our government opposes the copyright chapter.
– http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/powerful-us-senator-town-push-controversial-free-trade-deal-ck-126166

One of the common themes across both trade negotiations is the unprecedented level of secrecy and the big push to exclude the public.
The Office of the US Trade Representative is even said to be pushing to stop the previous ACTA agreement from going before the US Congress for ratification, ratifying by executive order instead.
– http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/opinion-it-time-walk-away-tppa-weekend-review-wb-124055
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August 20, 2012 8:51am
Hamnida

If the TPP was good for New Zealand, why the secrecy and meetings in far flung locations like Vladivostok?

Keep in mind, Russia is not even a TPP nation.
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August 20, 2012 8:58am
iMP

Does he mean the Taleban and Al Qaeda witch-hunting down Western operatives, soldiers and civilians compromised by his Leaks?
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August 20, 2012 8:58am
mister nui

I’ve noticed the horrid pumping this small app development company in a few articles over the last couple of weeks: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/technology/news/article.cfm?c_id=5&objectid=10827864

But, the company has only just reached $1million in turnover, yet they have 15 staff. Are the repeaters at the horrid too stupid to see that something isn’t right here. Or maybe those repeaters on 40k think 45k is a great salary? I come up with 45k as average salary by deducting 300k in overheads for a $1 million revenue company, leaving 700k for salaries.
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August 20, 2012 9:07am
Keeping Stock

Quite so iMP. If I were Julian Assange (which praise the Lord I’m not!) I would be keeping a VERY low profile just at the moment. Wikileaks has had many unfortunate and unexpected consequences.
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August 20, 2012 9:14am
dime

Ross – if youre reading, id just like you to know that you are a cowardly little bitch and although im not a violent Dime, if we met id probably bitch slap you a few times until you cried 🙂 and you would cry. cause youre a wimpy little lisping lefty whos bitter at the world. no doubt bullied at school, touched by a family member etc.

didnt want to pollute the soldier thread with that.

apart from that. what a glorious weekend.

Dime is now living in his stunning new pad. Ive nicnamed it “The Estate”. just need the swimming pool and im set 😀
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August 20, 2012 9:31am
Positan

Calling DPF – I’d like to give you some information in respect of one of your determinations in your June 11 item, “The 7th Labour Government.

How can you be contacted offline?
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August 20, 2012 9:55am
Pete George

Positan – you can email him as per: http://www.kiwiblog.co.nz/dpf
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August 20, 2012 10:02am
Weihana

The institution of marriage is based around procreation and the raising of children. Hence, why it’s just not suitable for gay couples. Or maybe it is? 🙂

Over tea at her north London home, Aarathi Prasad is talking calmly, coolly, about reproduction. But not sex. Specifically not sex. Her subject is technologies that would take intercourse out of the reproductive equation, advances that could challenge everything we know about family and the relationship between men and women. Their potential is summed up in the final paragraphs of her new book, Like a Virgin: How Science is Redesigning the Rules of Sex.

Here she describes the “ultimate solo parent” of the future. This woman can use her own stem cells and an artificial Y chromosome to produce healthy new eggs and sperm at any age, is capable of reproducing entirely alone by making one of her eggs behave like a pseudo-sperm that can be used to fertilise herself, and has no need to carry the embryo in her own body. Instead it gestates in an artificial womb, which acts as a highly evolved incubator. The same field of technology would enable gay couples to have children created from both their DNA, and make it just as easy for a man to become a single parent as a woman.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/aug/17/sex-reproduction-aarathi-prasad
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August 20, 2012 10:03am
kowtow

Well done boredboy you’ve proven garth george correct.

Morgan Freeman? WTF!

Must really be bored using Hollywood as inspiration.FFS!
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August 20, 2012 10:07am
tom hunter

You know what – fuck it. A few weeks ago I got annoyed by David Garrett’s constant baiting of PhilU, and David commented that he knew he should not but that it was like a mosquito bite that he just had to scratch.

It would seem that’s Hamnida for me. There have been other crypto-Marxists on this site who would almost certainly agree with Hamnida – people like Ryan Sproull, Yoza, and the long vanished Sonic.

Yet somehow, none of those people caused me to engage the way I have with Hamida, which is strange because they (even Yoza) bought a far more intelligent edge to the arguments. Hamnida’s every sentence screams Core-Of-The-Earth-Dumb. Every engagement with him feels like an exercise in thumping a cow over the head: the animal just stares back at you with placid, bovine dullness – and carries on doing exactly the same thing.

If Haminda’s ideas ever gain traction with 5% of the population I guess I’ll have to re-engage: but 0.01% is not a concern. So it’s time to stop.

Well …. after a couple more responses (holds head in hands).
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August 20, 2012 10:11am
joana

Christchurch residents in the suburb of Riccarton were subject to an hours long chanting of Allahu Akbar on cranked up speakers from the Deans Ave Mosque from 8.30 am Sunday morning..Where was the council noise patrol? Why were they allowed to do this? They were disturbing the peace which as far as I know is still an offense. Why Allahu Akbar? A sign of the future.
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August 20, 2012 10:16am
Longknives

Cold Turkey Tom. It worked for me and my ‘Philu’ habit….
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August 20, 2012 10:17am
Viking2

dime (4,769) Says:
August 20th, 2012 at 9:31 am

Dime is now living in his stunning new pad. Ive nicnamed it “The Estate”. just need the swimming pool and im set 😀

Ah, do we assume you have installed the “chosen One” in the swmbo dept.
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August 20, 2012 10:19am
dime

tom – i think it may actually be phil.

just do what i do. i decided that phil was dead to me. i never spoke to him again. even when he was nice and asked me something. just dead.
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August 20, 2012 10:26am
dime

Viking – ya lost me!
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August 20, 2012 10:26am
tom hunter

Longknives and dime

I know you’re right. I put Philu on RIP back in 2009, when Ryan Sproull discovered it and advised the rest of us, and I actually did nothing but throw a few taunts at Hamnida early on. Even after the “John Minto is the greatest New Zealander of all time.” hilarity, I said nothing.

But I finally engaged on the Blackham On Heartland Tour. I’m just mystified as to why I engaged with someone that dumb. Perhaps it’s just annoyance that he can’t (or won’t) even make any coherent arguments for the basic philosophy that drives his soundbites. It’s just one stupid slogan after another.

Oh well. Work to be done.
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August 20, 2012 10:35am
Elaycee

I think we need to remember that Hamfisted is not exactly an economic guru – he / she claimed in an earlier comment (can’t be stuffed looking it up / regurgitating it here) that he / she had operated several companies. And now today, we witness his / her latest recipe for economic salvation…..

Based on this latest example of economic calamity, I suspect that Hamfisted’s ‘work experience’ consists of being a minor player in a ‘market leader’ such as Hanover / South Canterbury Finance / Feltex / TranzRail / TV3 / JBL / Bridgecorp / FiveStar / Ansett / or perhaps Matt McCarten’s Unite outfit who kept employee PAYE contributions from the IRD.

Or perhaps Hamfisted is simply a union organiser who spends all day bleating and chanting outside the local Burger King 😀
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August 20, 2012 10:47am
Pete George

Perhaps it’s just annoyance that he can’t (or won’t) even make any coherent arguments for the basic philosophy that drives his soundbites. It’s just one stupid slogan after another.

Not surprising, that seems to be the Labour way these days. Goff was a bit of a slogan puppet, so was the local candidate here who became and MP. And there are worrying signs that Shearer is also heading in that direction as well. So you shouldn’t be surprised that Labour cadet Hamnida is following the lead.

And it’s why they get so frustrated that Key, who comes across as speaking for himself (for better or worse) and is taken far more seriously.
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August 20, 2012 11:01am
dime

“who spends all day bleating and chanting outside the local Burger King”

lol the most demeaning description of a union leader ive heard so far. well done.
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August 20, 2012 11:07am
publicwatchdog

Good moaning Kiwibloggers! 🙂

Seen this?

http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/powerful-us-senator-town-push-controversial-free-trade-deal-ck-126166

The Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement?

What sort of ‘partnership’ EXCLUDES THE PUBLIC?

BEWARE!

FREE TRADE AGREEMENTS = PRIVATISATION!

FREE TRADE AGREEMENTS ARE FOR INVESTORS – NOT THE PUBLIC MAJORITY!

WHERE IS THE ‘TRANSPARENCY’ IN THE TPPA NEGOTIATIONS?

Where are the ‘minutes’ of the meetings?

Whose interests is John Key serving?

Penny Bright
‘Anti-corruption campaigner’

http://www.dodgyjohnhasgone.com
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August 20, 2012 11:16am
nasska

Good God! Come back Hamnida……all is forgiven.
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August 20, 2012 11:27am
bereal

Would love to hear from any Obama supporter who would care to rebutt the facts Niall presents in this Newsweek article.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/08/19/niall-ferguson-on-why-barack-obama-needs-to-go.html

(but i wont hold my breath waiting because i doubt any will accept the challenge.)
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August 20, 2012 12:16pm
Viking2

dime. swmbo
She who must be obeyed. or Girlfreind, wife etc.
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August 20, 2012 12:17pm
Griff

I have a vision of the dime rambling around an empty estate with no one to rule over
A sad and pointless display of vanity and consumerism that only leaves him cold and disillusioned with his world
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August 20, 2012 12:27pm
dime

V2 – ah ok. Not a house cat Dime yet!

Im trying to get over my addiction of early 20’s hotties 🙁 i know there is no future and they drive me nuts but they are just so dam cute 😀
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August 20, 2012 1:16pm
Sofia

Associate Education Minister John Banks says he believes the Genesis account of the start of life on Earth.
According to the Bible, God made the world in six days, with Adam and Eve being his last act of creation.
John Banks told Radio Rhema that he has no doubts the first chapters of Genesis are true.
“That’s what I believe, but I’m not going to impose my beliefs on other people, especially in this post-Christian society that we live in, especially in these lamentable times.”
“There are reactionaries out there, humanists in particular, that overrun the bureaucracies in Wellington and state education.”
Mr Banks says he’s too old, these days, to be ‘judgemental’.
Bible scholars are divided over whether this is a literal description or an allegory to help people understand how the world came into being.

– http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/14597108/banks-sure-first-genesis-chapters-are-true/
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August 20, 2012 1:31pm
nasska

….”According to the Bible, God made the world in six days, with Adam and Eve being his last act of creation.
John Banks told Radio Rhema that he has no doubts the first chapters of Genesis are true.”…

Finally, confirmation that the cheese slid off his cracker years ago.
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August 20, 2012 1:40pm
freemark

dime (4,775) Says:
August 20th, 2012 at 1:16 pm
V2 – ah ok. Not a house cat Dime yet!

Im trying to get over my addiction of early 20′s hotties i know there is no future and they drive me nuts but they are just so dam cute

Know what you mean Dime, I thought I was over mine but I’m on the tail end of 10 days in Bangkok and have seriously relapsed!
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August 20, 2012 1:58pm
dime

freemark – nice! if you end up losing 100 pounds in the next 3 months as youre riddled with disease, let me know. it will crack me up!
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August 20, 2012 2:22pm
my 2 cents

When are the media, beneficiaries and the Unions going to get it, that the money that beneficiaries spend isn’t theirs!
It is from taxes which means (OPM) other peoples money and surely they have a right that their hard earned money should be spent prudently.
If I was on a benefit I would have no problem with those who pay for it not wanting me to spend it on cigarettes, booze, gambling or drugs.
What is with this Helen Kelly woman?

http://www.stuff.co.nz/taranaki-daily-news/news/7503055/Welfare-drug-tests-branded-beneficiary-bashing
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August 20, 2012 2:27pm
Pete George

An interesting new image from Mars.
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August 20, 2012 2:36pm
bhudson

Hamnida’s every sentence screams Core-Of-The-Earth-Dumb. Every engagement with him feels like an exercise in thumping a cow over the head: the animal just stares back at you with placid, bovine dullness – and carries on doing exactly the same thing.

Yeah, tom. It got me wondering if Hammy is just Colonial Viper under a different pseudonym. Especially when he went defencive on the Clare Curren and Brazil thread.
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August 20, 2012 2:41pm
grumpyoldhori

Are there any Deans for the AB coach left after the weekend and Deans wonderful record with the Wallabies ?
The ARU are understanding, lose to Samoa no problem, lose to Scotland no problem.
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August 20, 2012 2:53pm
Longknives

My 2 Cents- Agree totally. That stupid bint is claiming that Weed is a “working class drug” and seems to think it is okay to work while impaired. She is clearly a stoner herself….
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August 20, 2012 3:08pm
Longknives

grumpyoldhori- Deans has been bloody disappointing on an International level with the Wallabies. But lets not forget he had a phenomenal record with the Crusaders…so he must have some coaching ability?
Maybe Aussies simply need an Aussie coach?
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August 20, 2012 3:11pm
Monique Watson

Hamnida makes me want to drink gin. This makes me fat. this makes me need to exercise. This makes me grumpy because I am lazy.
I think it’s called a vicious circle. Or a pernicious circle if I replace the gin with Pernod.
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August 20, 2012 3:11pm
dime

longknives – Dime picked Deans to fail from the start.

a) cause i dont like the man

b) because hes as weak as piss. he doesnt like senior players and culls them when he can. remember players like george smith, giteau, mortlock etc etc systematically purged as he introduced young players who say “yes robbie” and buy into his philosophy 100%. if you want to go back further think tana being dropped, cullen not good enough, merhts playing NPC while carlos lost us a world cup etc if they hang onto Deans for another 5 years he may come good as he gets some experienced, senior players.
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August 20, 2012 3:16pm
Pete George

Deans and co. had a much different situation in Canterbury, they were able to cherry pick top players from around New Zealand that strengthened them and weakened the opposition.

The equivalent would be if he could buy in some of the best players from around the world. He can’t do that for Australia.

Another problem is psychological – I suspect Deans has a deepseated feeling that Australia was second best for him, and a second best attitude seems to have rubbed off on his players.
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August 20, 2012 3:24pm
Longknives

Dime- Fair call, I couldn’t care either way about him personally but was more wondering if Aussie teams need an Aussie coach…as Deans clearly isn’t working for them. Mitchell didn’t exactly excel in the Aussie environment either…
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August 20, 2012 3:28pm
nasska

Monique

Even if he functions as a looped tape of leftist cliches he does have two redeeming features.

He uses capital letters & is sparing with ellipses.
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August 20, 2012 3:29pm
Pete George

…and he doesn’t have water on the brain.
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August 20, 2012 3:31pm
Longknives

As for Dime’s addiction to “early 20′s hotties ” -Sure they look great but Christ almighty wouldn’t conversing with them just do your head in??
Longknives now fully understands why Dime turns to his Kiwiblog friends for intellectual ‘stimulation’…
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August 20, 2012 3:34pm
dime

longknives – haha yeah! i have buddies for intellectual stimulation! ive almost kicked the habit! Dime wants to start breeding soon so will require a nice girl with a brain!

as for Deans – he should do a stint in england. opportunities back here will come up.

the qld coach should be the wallabies coach. hes quality.
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August 20, 2012 3:45pm
Weihana

my 2 cents (933) Says:
August 20th, 2012 at 2:27 pm

When are the media, beneficiaries and the Unions going to get it, that the money that beneficiaries spend isn’t theirs!
It is from taxes which means (OPM) other peoples money and surely they have a right that their hard earned money should be spent prudently.

I agree. But I also expect the government to spend my taxes prudently. Wasting 14 million on drug testing is not being prudent. It will not save any money (addicts can already claim the sickness benefit) and it will not solve anything.

That doesn’t mean it is moral or ethical to spend benefit money on drugs (including alcohol and cigarettes). But I do not favour wasting 14 million dollars on what is nothing more than an expression of righteous indignation with little or no real benefits.

If I was on a benefit I would have no problem with those who pay for it not wanting me to spend it on cigarettes, booze, gambling or drugs.
What is with this Helen Kelly woman?

What is wrong with you that you completely misread her point?

Longknives (1,290) Says:
August 20th, 2012 at 3:08 pm

My 2 Cents- Agree totally. That stupid bint is claiming that Weed is a “working class drug” and seems to think it is okay to work while impaired. She is clearly a stoner herself….

Try again, and this time open your eyes. What she actually said was:

“The council did not support people turning up for work under the influence of drugs, but supported testing where employers believed workers were impaired, Ms Kelly said.”
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August 20, 2012 3:47pm
Longknives

“nothing more than an expression of righteous indignation with little or no real benefits.”

I’d say if it saves innocent lives it is money well spent- I wouldn’t want a Hot Air Balloon Pilot, for example, baked out of his brains on Cannabis with peoples lives in his hands….
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August 20, 2012 3:56pm
Manolo

It took only six days: http://news.msn.co.nz/nationalnews/8519061/banks-reveals-belief-in-genesis
That’s very scientific, isn’t it?
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August 20, 2012 4:39pm
Pete George

…could make him eligible for another party?

I hope his Associate Minister of Education responsibilities don’t cover curriculum.
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August 20, 2012 4:45pm
Nookin

Assuming that you can believe everything on TV and that TV does, in fact, report everything that is relevant, it will be interesting to read the basis upon which the Wanganui District Council seeks judicial review. The Mayor has been interviewed on a couple of occasions and maintains that the basis for the decision for the move to Wanganui lies in the fact that none of the victims lived in the Wanganui. She maintains that the Parole Board should have had regard for the safety of the citizens of Wanganui. I have cut and pasted the conditions. It really does seem to me that Wanganui District Council might be pushing it up hill with a very sharp stick if they are going to try and argue that the parole board had no regard for safety:
“The Parole Board’s conditions include not leaving the Whanganui district, not associating with anyone under 16 unless an approved adult over 20 years was present, not having any female at his address, having no contact with his victims, completing a reintegration programme, attending sessions with a department psychologist to develop a safety plan, not engaging in any employment without approval, not possessing any electronic device capable of accessing the internet, not joining any clubs, groups, associations or churches unless approved, not placing any advertisements in any publications or responding to any such advertisement by another person, not owning or driving a vehicle, not possessing or consuming alcohol or illicit drugs, and not attending any addiction support groups.”

An application for judicial review is not an appeal. There are only limited grounds. The Council will have to show an error of law, failure to take into account relevant information, taking into account irrelevant information or, essentially, a wholly unreasonable decision (although there seems to be some judicial doubts as to the existence of this final ground). Even then, the Court has a discretion.

The other issue is that of standing to bring the application. If the Wanganui District Council has standing to bring an application (on the pretext that Wilson is to be released into its community) then other councils are equally affected and it would be interesting to see whether there is any representation of the hypothetical “alternative community”.
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August 20, 2012 5:02pm
publicwatchdog

Looking forward to ‘considered opinions’ on this one?

(Can’t help myself – am genetically hard-wired to look on the ‘bright’ side 🙂

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

WHOSE INTERESTS IS NZ PRIME MINISTER JOHN KEY (STILL A SHAREHOLDER IN THE BANK OF AMERICA) SERVING???

In November 1999, John Key was the Head of Derivatives for Merrill Lynch.

In November 1999 John Key was also a Foreign Exchange Advisor to the New York Federal Reserve.

In November 1999 is when the Glass Steagall Act was repealed.

(The Glass Steagall Act effectively kept a concrete wall between boring, safe commercial banking and risky, dangerous investment banking.)

The effect of the repeal of the Glass Steagall Act was to leave the derivatives market unregulated.

What is regarded as the main reason for the global financial ‘meltdown’?

The collapse of the derivatives market – WHICH NZ PRIME MINISTER JOHN KEY HELPED TO SET UP.

WHAT ROLE DID JOHN KEY PLAY IN THE REPEAL OF THE GLASS STEAGALL ACT – GIVEN THAT HE WAS PLACED IN A PIVOTAL POSITION AT A PIVOTAL TIME?

Whose interests is John Key NOW primarily serving, as Prime Minister of New Zealand, remembering that he is still a shareholder in the Bank of America?

Penny Bright
‘Anti-corruption campaigner’

_____________________________________________________

http://aotearoaawiderperspective.wordpress.com/2012/08/20/are-kiwi-farmers-the-victim-of-fraudulent-derivatives/#comment-27351

Are Kiwi Farmers the Victim of Fraudulent Derivatives?
A fellow blogger pointed me in the direction of the fact that in 2007, 2008 and 2009 Farmers in New Zealand have been sold Derivatives Swaps. In an interesting series the Sunday Star times is shining light about this practice.

In Britain, it’s being called a scandal. In New Zealand, there’s been barely a squeak.

But with around one in 10 farmers in dire straits with high debt burdens and devalued farms, claims that complex “interest rate swaps” were missold to farmers who did not understand them are surfacing.

The swaps, traditionally used by sophisticated businesses with expert finance staff, were sold in 2007, 2008 and even 2009 by some banks to farmers as insurance against interest rates – and hence floating rate farm mortgages – rising rapidly, farmers say.

But when the opposite happened, the farmers who bought them were left locked in to high interest rates which they could not escape without paying hefty break fees.

Already heavily indebted, some farmers have lost their farms as a result of the instruments.

Read more…..

_____________________________________________________

Penny Bright
‘Anti-corruption campaigner’

http://www.dodgyjohnhasgone.com
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August 20, 2012 5:08pm
Weihana

Longknives (1,298) Says:
August 20th, 2012 at 3:56 pm

“nothing more than an expression of righteous indignation with little or no real benefits.”

I’d say if it saves innocent lives it is money well spent- I wouldn’t want a Hot Air Balloon Pilot, for example, baked out of his brains on Cannabis with peoples lives in his hands….

What does Hot Air Balloon Pilots have to do with welfare drug testing? Of course everyone in a role, such as pilot, which has significant safety issues should be drug tested.
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August 20, 2012 5:11pm
Longknives

I would give a “Considered Opinion” Penny but I don’t really know what the hell you are on about.
By the way- Has ‘Occupy’ changed the World yet??
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August 20, 2012 5:12pm
Nookin

Longknives

How can one give a considered answer to a wholly unconsidered question?
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August 20, 2012 5:21pm
Viking2

John Ansell
Truth matters
On Maori TV tonight 8.30pm with Joris de Bres

We’ll be discussing the Human Rights Commission Report released today called A Fair Go For All? — Addressing Structural Discrimination in the Public Service.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a very boring looking 105 page doorstep to read. 🙂
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August 20, 2012 6:09pm
RF

Face slap for me plus 100 head bangs on desk. I happened to check on the KKK to see their comments about the 3 heros who were killed yesterday. What a bunch of scum sucking slime balls who do not deserve to be part of our community. We have some very twisted fuck wits in our society.
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August 20, 2012 6:33pm
Longknives

What a fucking idiot. This guy is not only endangering his own life but those of the jockeys as well..

http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/7511981/Man-invades-Otaki-horse-race
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August 20, 2012 6:45pm
graham

More to the point – has ‘OccupyAuckland’ paid for the electricity they STOLE yet?
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August 20, 2012 6:46pm
Manolo

On the incompetent: http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/08/19/niall-ferguson-on-why-barack-obama-needs-to-go.html
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August 20, 2012 6:52pm
nasska

Given the debate last week this may be timely:

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of halfwit politicians who couldn’t pass year nine biology test if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for:

(please initial all that apply)

_________a martini,

_________a joint,

_________a beer,

__________a steak,

_________ the remote control,

__________ a bowl of ice cream,

_________ a Kahlua on the rocks,

________ sex,

it should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Signature:___________________________

Date: ______________________________

Witness: ___________________________
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August 20, 2012 8:00pm
Griff

You know I am gone when I stop doing the things that are killing me

nice nasska
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August 20, 2012 8:09pm
nasska

Griff

So long as I leave no broken hearts nor burning genitals I’ll die a happy man! 🙂
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August 20, 2012 8:12pm
Viking2

….It stinks getting older….

Beverly is 90 years old. She’s played golf every day since her retirement 25 years ago. One day she arrives

home looking sad.

“That’s it” she tells her husbqnd, Gus, “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the

ball, I can’t see where it went.

Her husband makes her a cup of tea and asks, “Why don’t you take me with you and give it one more try?”

“That’s no good,” she replied, “You’re 103 and you can’t help.”

“I may be a hundred and three”, says Gus, “but my eyesight is perfect.”

So the next day Beverly heads off to the golf course with her Gus. She tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.

She turns to the husband and says, “Did you see the ball?”

“Of course I did!” replied Gus, “I have perfect eyesight”.

“Where did it go?” says Beverly

“I don’t remember.”
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August 20, 2012 8:53pm
Viking2

Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus’s birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types…oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn’t featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Stuggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it’s way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it’s engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering…” Ooooh that feels good ”

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect……. :-
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August 20, 2012 8:56pm
nasska

Q. What’s the difference between a Lesbian in a porno and a real life one?

A. About 12 stone.

Q. Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms?

A. So gays could have lightsabre fights.
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August 20, 2012 9:00pm
bhudson

If the TPP was good for New Zealand, why the secrecy and meetings in far flung locations like Vladivostok?

Keep in mind, Russia is not even a TPP nation.

Because, Hamnida, we are trying to negotiate an FTA with Russia also. And also, separately, with India and South Korea.

Because National Party Ministers can walk and chew gum at the same time.
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August 20, 2012 9:49pm
cha

Sports commentary at its finest, Irish sailing.
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August 20, 2012 10:01pm
Tauhei Notts

Viking2 at 8.53 p.m.
My wife has developed macular degeneration.
It affects her sight.
Since the onset of that curse her handicap has gone from 24.4 to 37, but her golfing partners still help her. It is her putting that irritates her. She cannot line them up like she used to.
She enjoyed your story, but pointed out that I am younger than her (by 9 months).
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August 20, 2012 11:09pm
Manolo

More from the religion of peace: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/08/20/christian-girl-with-down-syndrome-faces-death-penalty-for-allegedly-burning/
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August 21, 2012 3:44am
Manolo

Unfit to govern? http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2012/08/19/peggy-noonan-if-biden-were-republican-meet-press-subject-would-be-how#ixzz2424siQb2
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August 21, 2012 3:46am
Viking2

Pragmatic solution to a vexing problem lands Probation Officer in trouble.

FFS. When all else fails do the obvious. But some PC whiner doesn’t agree. Kudos to the person that thought this up.

Prostitute claim sparks probation inquiry
VANITA PRASAD
Last updated 05:00 21/08/2012

1

Share

An investigation is under way after allegations a West Auckland probation officer was recorded talking about supplying a paedophile with a prostitute who was dressed as a child.

A West Auckland resident also being managed by the officer claims to have recorded a meeting with him.

On the recording, which has been sent to the Corrections Department, the officer talks about organising a prostitute for another offender as part of a ”safety plan” to control the offender’s risk.

A probation officer has been suspended while the department investigates.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/7513862/Prostitute-claim-sparks-probation-inquiry
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August 21, 2012 6:37am
Viking2

Now this will piss of the teachers union and its followers.

Principal posts data in open bid for support
JONATHAN CARSON
Last updated 05:00 21/08/2012

A Hamilton school principal has beaten the Government to releasing national standards data by publicly announcing that more than half of his pupils are falling behind.

But the New Zealand Educational Institute has urged others to question the ethics around releasing what it says is “unfair and inconsistent” information.

Rhode Street School principal Shane Ngatai posted on the school’s Facebook page, and in a newsletter to parents, that 60 per cent of the school’s pupils were below, or well below, national standards in reading, writing and mathematics.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/news/7513900/Principal-posts-data-in-open-bid-for-support
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August 21, 2012 6:44am

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