General Debate 7 September 2011

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Peter

How to stop all e-mail advertising:

http://i.imgur.com/MTcUk.png
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September 7, 2011 8:09am
Scott Chris

Carter Paints Himself As Gay Hero:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/5576149/Saving-life-makes-it-worthwhile-for-MP-Carter

This guy needs help.
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September 7, 2011 8:14am
Murray

And today we can celebrate the Palistinians greatest sporting acievment.
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September 7, 2011 8:17am
flipper

So did Carter have help from the “gay” US Ambassador to NZ?
Was it a “sisters” appointment?
Was the selection panel balanced for gender and ethnicity?
Will NZ contribute towards his costs (via UN)?
Will the UN check his expenses?
Lots of questions folks.
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September 7, 2011 8:18am
Longknives

I note Carter never thanked me (the ever-generous Kiwi taxpayer) for all his exotic holidays!
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September 7, 2011 8:20am
Inventory2

Book yourself a date with Trevor Mallard on Facebook tonight when he hosts a Live Chat session as part of Labour’s stellar social media campaign to capture the hearts and votes of the electorate. Start thinking about those questions you’ve always wanted to ask him!

http://keepingstock.blogspot.com/2011/09/advance-smog-alert.html

We’re predicting an outbreak of SMOG sometime between 7pm and 7.30pm…
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September 7, 2011 8:21am
Longknives

Looking at the sports pages it appears that Henry and co are going back to their old ways for this tournament- playing guys out of position and weekly rotation!
Anyone still think the ‘Adi- Blacks’ deserve to be labelled as ‘unbeatable’ $1.60 favourites??
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September 7, 2011 8:23am
ciaron

Back to back losses and an over priced jersey = I couldn’t give a shit.
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September 7, 2011 8:29am
Scott Chris

IV2 – My guess is that “Live Chat session” means preselected questions get ignored whilst Mallard gets on his soapbox.

Labour faithful only please. (all seven of you)
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September 7, 2011 8:29am
wreck1080

Ricki Herbert should have taken those overseas offers after the football world cup.

I doubt he’ll get whatever is owed to him, and, I imagine those overseas offers have faded.
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September 7, 2011 8:30am
Scott Chris

Glad to see SBW at 12. My favourite tall poppy.
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September 7, 2011 8:32am
hj

Read the small print and you find that the government wants a total abandonment of the planning system.

George Monbiot. Published in the Guardian 6th September 2011

Impervious to experience, strangers to reason: the communities secretary Eric Pickles and the Chancellor George Osborne have learnt nothing from the economic crisis. They claim that laxer town planning “is key to our economic recovery”(1). But the European countries hit hardest by the economic crisis – Greece, Italy, Spain and Ireland – have weak planning controls and urban sprawl. The nations which have proved most resilient have tougher laws and compact settlements.

Weak planning exacerbates economic problems because capital is diverted from productive uses into speculative ventures; cities decline as they hollow out; and badly-sited businesses, disaggregated settlements and long travel times drag down economic efficiency. On Sunday the New York Times reported that doubling urban density raises productivity by between 6 and 28%(2).
http://www.monbiot.com/2011/09/05/terra-nullius/
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September 7, 2011 8:40am
DavidC

Only one more sleep! whoooop!

GH has picked a bunch of heavies, Dagg tho will be fun to watch.

Anything less than 60 point margin will be a loss.
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September 7, 2011 8:41am
pdm

Rotation, Rotation, Rotaion is alive and well as Henry and Co prove once again that they are the biggest dangers to the All Blacks winning the RWC. This team as all of the signs of 2007 with unfit players, Woodcock and Boric, players out of position Kahui and Nonu, players not up to All Black standard Toeava and so it goes on and on and on.
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September 7, 2011 8:42am
Pete George

Book yourself a date with Trevor Mallard on Facebook tonight when he hosts a Live Chat

IV2, SC – I read through Goff’s “live chat” and it was loaded with a few people asking patsy questions – and of course Goff gave boilerplate answers. At least Trev might make his sound interesting.

I think the AB selections make sense – it’s as important to keep all possible finals participants match ready as it is to keep most of the team intact from game to game.
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September 7, 2011 8:49am
Scott Chris

pdm – I like this center pairing. Smith is certainly a good footballer, but not the athlete the other two are. This idea of “smart footballer” is a myth IMO. Rugby ain’t rocket science.

That said, the wing choices are a little odd. Versatile I guess.
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September 7, 2011 9:02am
tom hunter

I do hope none of you had invested in the Swiss Franc as a refuge from the US dollar, Euro, or any of the other crappy currencies of the world, because the Swiss central bank announced overnight that will be pegging the Franc at 1.2 Euros – and that they will buy any amount of Euros to keep it that way.

Oh dear. Technically the Franc always was just another fiat currency but it had a different reputation thanks to the way the Swiss ran their economy. Not any longer.

Gold to $2000 / ounce shortly – and thereafter the sky’s the limit.
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September 7, 2011 9:04am
kowtow

Pacific Islands forum.

According to a blond girl on TV3 this am we (NZ and OZ taxpayers) are going to stump up millions to educate the 100’s of thousands of island primary school children who ares’t getting an education.

If these “nations”can’t educate their children ,then why is it a cost to NZ and Oz taxpayers.After all the UN insists on post colonial independence.

Ban Ki Moon is attending the forum to push his warmist alarm agenda.Kiribatti is in the “front line” with waves lapping its shores,duh ‘it is a coral atol after all.
I would have thought that Somalia and South Sudan were more pressing issues than the odd high tide featuring so heavily on our news broadcasts and being passed off unquestioningly by a propagandist medai as global warming sea level rise hysteria. Goebbels would be proud of them.
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September 7, 2011 9:04am
David Garrett

Meanwhile….does anyone know why the IPCA report on the shooting of Halatau Ngaitokau (not the correct spelling; cant do with googling) on the NW motorway by the OAS has STILL not been released, although reports on police actions from later dates have been?

The release was to be “soon” when I was still in parliament, more than a year ago….something aint right here…
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September 7, 2011 9:23am
hj

Mike Butler: Lessons in bungled evictions

“Why does the state landlord rent to people who associate with criminal gangs?

Why is it assumed that people who have never worked have a right to state-funded housing when they won’t accept the responsibilities that go along with it?

In this age of information sharing among government agencies, and when it is obvious that the women and children living in the state house are funded by the domestic purposes benefit, how is it that bludger boyfriends can not only freely live in these houses, and off these women, but also will damage the property and intimidate the neighbours?

How is it that every street in state house areas has a tinnie house or two that is supplied by the gang controlling the area and are operated with apparent immunity?

Why is there an open legal aid chequebook for people who have lived off the state all their lives, giving them the freedom to waste the time of every court in the land in a bid to shield them from facing their own responsibilities?

Why does Housing New Zealand continue to relocate the bad tenants they evict? What’s wrong with a policy of never re-housing them? With such a policy there would be some serious good behaviour breaking out in neighbourhoods across New Zealand.
http://breakingviewsnz.blogspot.com/2011/09/mike-butler-lessons-in-bungled.html
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September 7, 2011 9:23am
RKBee

Support tall poppies everywhere go Sonny Bill…
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September 7, 2011 9:28am
James Stephenson

@Scott the “Smart Footballer” is no myth – there’s a reason why no dumb leaguey has ever made it in a playmaking position at real Rugby. SBW will merely be the latest to try and fail.

Expect the game-reading defensive smarts of Smith and Muliaina to be back for decent opposition.
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September 7, 2011 9:30am
Scott Chris

“Gold to $2000 / ounce shortly”

Because it is often difficult to observe intrinsic values in real-life markets, bubbles are often conclusively identified only in retrospect, when a sudden drop in prices appears.

While many explanations have been suggested, it has been recently shown that bubbles appear even without uncertainty, speculation, or bounded rationality. It has also been suggested that bubbles might ultimately be caused by processes of price coordination or emerging social norms.

Buy gold at your peril. Oil futures may fluctuate, but are a good long term bet. (barring the discovery of cold fusion)
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September 7, 2011 9:32am
Lance

@hj
“With such a policy there would be some serious good behaviour breaking out in neighbourhoods across New Zealand.”

I afraid to say many of these losers are too fucked in the head to make the connection no matter how dire things get.
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September 7, 2011 9:34am
103PapPap

Has anyone ever thought about the unemployed displaying their tattoos, that the taxpayer paid for the tats!
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September 7, 2011 9:40am
Scott Chris

James Stephenson – I agree that positions such as first-five are very specialized and it is rare for a leaguey to make a successful transition, but I have little doubt Andrew Johns or Brad Fittler would have excelled there. Mat Rogers made a reasonable fist of it without even being a specialist standoff, and Tasesa Lavea was a run of the mill stand-off, so I believe your theory that “there’s a reason why no dumb leaguey has ever made it” hasn’t truly been tested.

Union could take note of league’s proficiency under the high ball, and the flat line kick/chase for starters, as well as bomb accuracy.
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September 7, 2011 9:47am
mikenmild

Bit of an odd lineup for the RWC opener. The midfield combination and the wing choices I can only see as giving chaps a run early. I’m very interested to see how Dagg will go at fullback though. Muliaina has been great but will need to crank it up a gear to keep his spot for the big games. If Dagg continues on current form he’ll be hard to keep out, either at fullback or wing.
Fingers crossed that there are no injuries to the loose forwards.
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September 7, 2011 9:51am
Scott Chris

Furthermore, the RWC will be an infernal bore up untill the quarter-finals. In the meantime, Go The Warriors!
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September 7, 2011 9:57am
James Stephenson

Scott – it’s been tested to my satisfaction. The closest anyone came was Iestyn Harris but he gave up and went back to League. The only league players to light up a Union paddock have been in the back three and it took Tana a good decade to work his way in from wing to inside centre. League bred player from 8 to 13? Don’t bother.
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September 7, 2011 9:58am
Scott Chris

All Blacks vs Tonga has the competitive appeal of England vs Bangladesh in cricket. Mind you, at least Bangladesh cause the odd upset.

James, I see Daryn Lockyer and Steven Larkham in the same mould.
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September 7, 2011 10:03am
tom hunter

Buy gold at your peril.

Yes, well I’ve always been a little wary of the Gold Bugs myself.

Having said that the reality is that there are now few safe havens outside of commodities like gold, oil, palladium etc. It’s no longer even a question of equities being risky; irrespective of the moves of various stock markets the currency risk has ballooned in the last few years as governments around the world print money to pay down debt.

Which brings me back to the Swiss. All this “defending the currency” talk has a whiff of the Sterling Crisis or the NZ devaluation crisis in 1983/84. The SNB claim that they’ll spend whatever it takes and I can’t help wondering when the world’s FX traders, speculators and Joe Bloggs are going to start testing that. Soros must be wetting his pants with delight. With this decision the Swiss have opened themselves up to two questions: how much money have they really got to keep buying Euros (200 billion, 300 billion, 1 trillion), and how many Francs are they willing to print before the average Swiss goes beserk about inflation.

Good times. Good times.
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September 7, 2011 10:14am
mikenmild

Scott
There’ll be some good action in the pool games. I don’t think all of the quarter-finalists can be picked. You can’t go past France and NZ from Pool A, and Australia and Ireland are probably safe in Pool C. I’m looking for Georgia to give Argentina and Scotland a scare as they try to qualify with England out of Pool B, and maybe Samoa or Fiji could make things a little tough for Wales qualifying with South Africa from Pool D.
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September 7, 2011 10:47am
Scott Chris

Just stirring up a little debate Mike. Glad you’re talking to me again. 🙂
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September 7, 2011 10:53am
pdm

Scott Chris &; JS – as I have said many times my preferred midfield is SBW and Kahui and it is a shame they are not paired together. Hard to see why Toeava is ahead of both Guilford and Jane – both need game time and Toeava has been tried and failed so many times previously it is hard to see what he offers that the other two don’t. In Guilfords case it seems he is being punished for one bad game and I ask again who hyped him up before that Australian test?
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September 7, 2011 10:55am
mikenmild

pdm
I can’t see that midfield happening. The selectors will stick with Nonu and Smith who have the combination, experience and current form.
I agree with you re Toeava – a useful reserve but that’s all. If Muliaina hangs on at fullback, I’d go for Jane and Dagg on the wings, but after having gone for Guildford in the squad he should be given another opportunity to make his case.
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September 7, 2011 11:12am
Scott Chris

pdm mikenmild – “Hard to see why Toeava is ahead of both Guilford and Jane”

As a long suffering Blues fan, I tend to see Toeava in a more favourable light. I agree, his performances for the All Blacks have been less than inspiring, but he is big and fast and versatile. Having had Pat Lam and Shane Howarth as coaches in recent years hasn’t helped his cause.

If he could improve his handling, I see him as the perfect bench player, who covers a number of positions and has impact.
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September 7, 2011 11:15am
Murray

What an arse numblingly dull rugby site this is.
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September 7, 2011 11:23am
David Garrett

Murray: I am with you….please God it’s not going to be like this for SIX looooong weeks?

Perhaps we could form a support group” Hetero men with no interest in rugby”…doesn’t read well as an acronym…
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September 7, 2011 11:43am
Pete George

Murray and David should be dropped, they don’t sound like team players.

Here’s what looks like a non-rugby blog – would that keep your interest for six weeks?
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September 7, 2011 11:51am
mikenmild

They’ll be watching FOUR (the non-rugby channel) for a while.
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September 7, 2011 11:58am
Griff

Ive been quoted on prime time TV as a kiwi male who thinks that thugby is a load of shit
lets just troll the supporters of this game continuously until they go somewhere else
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September 7, 2011 12:08pm
mikenmild

One of the good things about Kiwiblog is that we can talk about the rugby along with other, less important, things!
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September 7, 2011 12:10pm
hj

Englands Green and Pleasant Land under threat from capital gains mining developers.

comment:
If you think that the countryside should merely be regarded as a tool for economic growth, there’s something profundly wrong with you, as there is with this wretched government, which in this case has clearly revealed itself to be in the pockets of the developers, as the Tories always have been.

Meanwhile, there are huge amounts of brownfield sites, and unused urban housing, which the government and the developers have little interest in – because they don’t see enough profit in it.

What, in God’s name, is this country going to look like in 50 or 100 years time, let alone 1,000? It’ll just be one huge urban sprawl.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/countryside/8745764/New-planning-laws-already-in-force.html#dsq-content

the greedy boys are active over here too.
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September 7, 2011 12:12pm
Scott Chris

David Garrett – “Hetero men with no interest in rugby”

There is no such thing.
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September 7, 2011 12:19pm
tom hunter

In some ways it’s nice to see that there is still the interest in rugby – gives me a warm feeling about NZ.

Unfortunately I just can’t join in. After following the game for two decades, playing it and loving the feeling of running around people, between people and over people, I lost track of the game from the late 1980’s until I returned over a decade later.

At that point I was keen to see what the new era of professional rugby was like. Given what I’d seen of professional sports in the US I had a lot of doubts, especially given that they had always been professional, whereas NZ was transitioning from a century of amateurism. I looked forward to Friday night games in prime time TV with something called the “Super 12”, not to mention the “Tri-Nations”. Wow – two tests a year against the old enemy, the Springboks. I was keen to get some advance news about it all by chatting with one of the guys unloading our household goods. He was a big Maori guy who played prop for some Westie club and he was not that impressed: it was “fancy” he said.

And so it went. I guess my first indication that something was going wrong was in 2001 during an All Black-Springbok test in Dunedin. Awful weather of course, made worse by being played at night. Little backplay with a lot of dropped balls and much kicking. It was all goalkicks as I recall, especially since the Boks had such a useless backline. Then, with about 20 minutes to play and the All Blacks leading by only 6 points or so – I reached for the remote and turned it off.

If you had told me a few years earlier that I would have done that in the middle of such a test I would said you were nuts.

Since then my rugby watching has been all downhill. The SKYTV was gone by 2005, which is probably when I watched my last game of any sort. My old friends seem bemused by this, as an entire topic of conversation now consists of me letting them talk while I sip my beer and nudge the topic along with comments such as really?, amazing, wow, and so forth. It’s incredible to me how little interest I have in the game nowadays – but I suspect I’m not the only ex-player/follower who has slipped away from this world. I’ve not even really thought about why this is? Perhaps I should.
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September 7, 2011 12:21pm
Tookinator

I see that Phil Goff can’t think of one question to ask the government in question time today… So I guess they must be doing ok….

This close to an election you’d think he’d be trying to raise his profile by hammering the government at every opportunity..

BTW – were there any Labour MP’s at Chris Carters Valedictory speech? I watched it but the quick flick of the camera off of him sometimes it was hard to tell.
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September 7, 2011 12:24pm
David Garrett

Sorry Scott, I am living proof that there is such a species…I remember huge amusement in Tonga…they are even more fanatical about the silly game than here…they just could not compute a male from “New Seeland” who had no interest in “ruckby”….even more puzzled when they were told I had a Tongan girlfriend 20 years my junior…(don’t be envious chaps, its not all beer and skittles chez Garrett..)
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September 7, 2011 12:49pm
mikenmild

Sorry David, but when you admitted your lack of interest in rugby, were your Tongan mates puzzled because you had a girlfriend and not a boyfriend?
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September 7, 2011 12:53pm
David Garrett

Yep! One of the first phrases I learned in tongan was “is he a poofter” followed by “No, he has a Tongan faka suva”…some here might know what that means….
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September 7, 2011 1:00pm
Viking2

Scott Chris (793) Says:
September 7th, 2011 at 12:19 pm

David Garrett – “Hetero men with no interest in rugby”

There is no such thing.

Living proof that there is. Its as bad as that other bloody stupid pastime; belting a little white ball aorund a manicured paddock.
I mean ffs who would manicure a paddock just to chase a silly little white ball and end up cursing and swearing a tit in the watering hole? Worse is going on about it forthe next week intil let loose on the paddock again by shmbo.

Fishing is of course much more enlightening and relaxing.
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September 7, 2011 2:42pm
Griff

Viking2
Fishing is of course much more enlightening and relaxing.

Now you are talking about real Mans sport.
Dragging fish around by bits of string is the most dangerous sport in NZ.
Much more hetero than Playing with balls
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September 7, 2011 2:52pm
Viking2

Well who said anything at all about catching fish? Gotta clean and gut them, slice and dice them just give the buggers away.
Reall mans sport is pig hunting. sorts out the whimps.
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September 7, 2011 2:59pm
Scott Chris

Viking2 – “Fishing is of course much more enlightening and relaxing”

Whaddayamean? Just because I spent my youth clutching at other men, inserting my head between their thighs, showering naked with them after the game?
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September 7, 2011 3:03pm
big bruv

A headline we do not need to see..” New Zealand doubles aid to famine-hit Africa ”

Why the hell are we doing this ?
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September 7, 2011 4:48pm
plebe

There is a youtube site somewhere showing John Key our leader WALKING ON WATER gasp i thought i cannot find it and at the end of the clip there is as some one told me a strong glow of bright light around our leaders head(what you see in catholic places),could one of the faithfull put me towards a link to watch our PM in action please
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September 7, 2011 5:07pm
KiwiGreg

I’m really offended by comparisons of John Key with god.

I mean god is great and all but he’s no John Key.

(yeah it’s not original I know)
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September 7, 2011 5:19pm
kiwisimplexity

SUPPORT Priyani Puketapu!
Let us introduce to you our hope in scary times. Priyani Puketapu (Te Atiawa) from Wellington.
http://kiwisimplexity.wordpress.com/2011/09/07/support-priyani-puketapu/

Police see no reason to apologize
We would like to take you back to Monday, 15 October 2007, the Ruatoki Valley in the eastern Bay of Plenty.
http://kiwisimplexity.wordpress.com/2011/09/07/police-see-no-reason-to-apologize/

Blog: http://kiwisimplexity.wordpress.com
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September 7, 2011 5:44pm
Pauleastbay

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/5582484/Fears-RWC-cup-tickets-won-t-sell

A Massey university economics lecturer says stadiums wont sell out. What a miserable wanker, no wonder we are such a sad little country when a no name no count puller like this can get column inches.
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September 7, 2011 6:01pm
Jimbob

Ms Mutu now says that she can not be a racist.
How can a person who is thick as a sack of hammers, get on the Auckland University academic pay roll?
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September 7, 2011 6:15pm
Steve

“How can a person who is thick as a sack of hammers, get on the Auckland University academic pay roll?”
Easy answer Jimbob. Vice-chancellor Stuart McCutcheon is so scared of Mutu labeling him Racist, and the more it happens, the more power the Racist Mutu gathers. Auckland University has no BALLS
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September 7, 2011 6:43pm
mikenmild

Pauleastbay
Best that misery-guts stop whingeing and buy some tickets to the Georgia games in Palmie. I shouldn’t hold my breath waiting for discount tickets.
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September 7, 2011 6:54pm
nasska

A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, “Can you help me when you get home?”

“Sure,” he replies. “What’s the problem?”

“Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can’t even find the edge pieces.”

“Look on the box,” he said. “There’s always a picture of what the puzzle is.”

“It’s a big rooster,” she said.

The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, “Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box.”
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September 7, 2011 7:00pm
reid

I hope you guys listen to Mutu justify herself. It’s a shocker.

http://www.radiolive.co.nz/Audio.aspx

Just choose today from 1:00 AM on.
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September 7, 2011 7:02pm
Scott Chris

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
:
:
:
:
:
:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Question 2:

Imagine it is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A.

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with an astrologer. He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C.

He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, only drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
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September 7, 2011 7:03pm
Viking2

big bruv (9,287) Says:
September 7th, 2011 at 4:48 pm

A headline we do not need to see..” New Zealand doubles aid to famine-hit Africa ”

Why the hell are we doing this ?

Oh cmon Bruv.

Its cause they can’t send us money for our earthquakes.
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September 7, 2011 7:04pm
Viking2

Jimbob (418) Says:
September 7th, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Ms Mutu now says that she can not be a racist.
How can a person who is thick as a sack of hammers, get on the Auckland University academic pay roll?

Well Jimbob, it just can’t be too hard.
There appear to be hundreds of the buggers there.
Care to apply?
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September 7, 2011 7:06pm
Steve

Seems that if you are ‘Pakeha’ and marry a “Maori’ you are “IN” accordong to Professor Margarete Mutu, who’s Mother was from England.
http://www.radiolive.co.nz/Audio.aspx
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September 7, 2011 7:13pm
Viking2

Kiwi software business heads offshore
By Jamie Gray
2:28 PM Wednesday Sep 7, 2011

Right Hemisphere’s founder and company chief technical officer Mark Thomas. The 3D graphics software company has been sold to German software giant, SAP Ag. File photo
Expand
Right Hemisphere’s founder and company chief technical officer Mark Thomas. The 3D graphics software company has been sold to German software giant, SAP Ag. File photo

Right Hemisphere, an Auckland-based 3D graphics software developer and recipient of an US$8 million soft loan from the government, has been sold to German software giant, SAP Ag, for an undisclosed sum.

Fine but:
Right Hemisphere was once touted by the Helen Clark-led Labour Government as a potential New Zealand success story, and had won some key contracts with big clients in the United States since it was founded by Thomas more than a decade ago.

The New Zealand arm of the company, which provides research and development services to its American office, made a pre-tax profit of just under $700,000 in the year to March, 2010.

The decision in 2006 by then-Economic Development Minister Trevor Mallard to give the company a five-year interest-free loan of what was then $14 million went ahead despite Treasury advice that it had “a low probability of resulting in net benefit to New Zealand”.

At the time, Clark said the aim of the loan was to help establish and support a world-leading 3D digital content and graphics industry.

As part of the deal, Right Hemisphere was to develop a cluster of spinoff companies in which its American backers, US venture capital firms Sequoia and Sutter Hill, were also expected to invest.

All of which begs the question; was Treasury right in the first place and did this loan of taxpayers money just enrich the shareholders without the benefits that should have accrued to NZ taxpayers which was part of the deal.
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September 7, 2011 7:14pm
Steve

I was just talking (Skype) to my niece and her partner who live in Perth. She is white as, and he is Maori. I mentioned the Mutu thing and he said:
“Tell her to fuck off bro, shit like her give us good Maori a bad name. She is just pissing everyone off to keep her job forever coz you dumb pakeha just go with it. Why do you think we are in OZ. Had enough of that shit man”
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September 7, 2011 7:21pm
nasska

John was in a bar looking very dejected.
His friend, Mike, walked over and asked,
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s my mother-in-law,” John replied,
while shaking his head sadly. “I have a
real problem with her.”
“Cheer up,” Mike said. “Everyone has
problems with their mother-in-law.”
“Yeah,” John answered. “But I got mine
pregnant.”
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September 7, 2011 7:28pm
reid

Murdoch update:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/phone-hacking/8745671/Phone-hacking-James-Murdoch-accused-of-misleading-MPs.html

They said when the story first broke before NSW ever closed down, that this email existed. I’ve been waiting for some context. Like I said the other day, James could serve time with this. At the least, declared unfit to lead a UK company. Where’s Lachlan?

Jim Sheridan, a Labour MP, told Mr Crone and Mr Chapman he had received a letter from “a senior former member of News International” which warned of dark forces at work.

His correspondent, who asked to remain anonymous, said he was dealing with “incredibly powerful, well-connected and ruthless individuals who will do anything to keep the real truth under wraps because the truth could well blow apart their global empire.”
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September 7, 2011 7:31pm
Steve

Perfume.
http://funstufftosee.com/brocolli.html
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September 7, 2011 7:50pm
nasska

Men only think belly button piercings are sexy because they remind them of the staple in a porn magazine.
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September 7, 2011 7:54pm
Steve

Brittney and Paris are gonna kill you nasska.
So are Mercedes, Gaylene, Maxine, Gloria, Bridgeit and many more.
Phark, you may need help from dime
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September 7, 2011 8:03pm
nasska

Steve

I’ll try to face the end bravely!
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September 7, 2011 8:06pm
Tookinator

Why haven’t the MED prepared the public over the file sharing law?
There iss o much confusion out there.

An email was sent out to all motels in NZ (by the Association) saying that you will get 3 fines and then be disconnected and then tonight on Prime News the Presenter said you would get 3 warnings and then your internet provider would be ‘obliged’ to disconnect you.

I thought you couldn’t be disconnected as of yet as it still requires the government to sign off an order in Cabinet for that to happen.

If the people advising the rest of us and the MSM are getting it wrong then there obviously needs some public awareness from the the MED – Simon Power if your reading this please sort it!
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September 7, 2011 8:15pm
nasska

You can say what you like about Graham Capill but at least he drives slowly past schools.
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September 7, 2011 8:22pm
big bruv

nasska

That is genuinely funny.
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September 7, 2011 8:31pm
Steve

Tookinator, how many prosecutions have you seen, and how many are before the courts?
Scaremongering. The motels are just covering arse.
Shit I better check some of my Torrents. Some downloading, some up. I like to leave some seeding to be fair coz I leeched them first.
If this was soooo big, why did the biggest server in NZ upgrade me to 60GB per month when I use 30?
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September 7, 2011 8:38pm
Griff

17 trees are saved by every ton of existing paper that is recycled. That means if we pulped every Harry Potter book we wouldn’t be able to see the sky for foliage.

A parish priest is to offer ‘eco-sinners’ the chance to confess in what is thought to be the first ‘green’ confessional booth. Obviously you can’t confess all your sins in one go but must separate bottle, paper and plastic confessions.

China is now building about two power stations every week, the top climate change official at the UK Foreign Office, John Ashton, has said. That’s the thing with Chinese. You have one that seems satisfying but you want another one soon after

It was a wet summer across Ireland and now climate experts are predicting 50 years of rain. One Irish weatherman said he was out of a job until 2057 and reminded viewers not to forget to take a brolly with them for the next half century..

At a press conference, former President George W. Bush announced that he is surprised at how quickly global warming is happening.

Then one of his aides pulled him aside and explained that it was just the beginning of spring.
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September 7, 2011 8:39pm
nasska

A blonde goes into the cleaners & drops off a blouse to be dry-cleaned.

As she’s leaving, the man behind the counter says, ‘Come again.’

The blonde stops and says, ‘No, mustard this time’.
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September 7, 2011 8:46pm
Scott Chris

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster, one that would service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: “I have just the rooster for you. Dave here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!”

So the farmer took Dave back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Dave a little pep talk. “Dave”, he said, “I’m counting on you to do your stuff”. And without a word he strutted into the hen house.

Dave was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Dave had finished having his way with each hen. But Dave didn’t stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig pen, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, “Stop, Dave, you’ll kill yourself”. But Dave continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Dave lying on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above.

The farmer walked up to Dave saying, “Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you’ve gone and killed yourself. I warned you little buddy”.

“Shhhhh,” Dave whispered, “The buzzard’s getting closer.”
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September 7, 2011 8:55pm
Scott Chris

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer, but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives forward, SAVING him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again, and the chicken fell into a mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole.” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab my ‘thingy’ and pull yourself up.” And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:

If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes to pick up chicks!
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September 7, 2011 8:59pm
Scott Chris

One misty Scottish morning a man was driving down from Wick to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a huge red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is about six foot three and like a walking wardrobe. He has a huge red beard and despite the wind, mist and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt and a tweed shirt. At the roadside there also stands a young woman. She is absolutely beautiful – slim, shapely, fair complexion.. ….. heartstopping. The car driver’s attention is dragged from the girl when the highlander opens the car door and drags him from the seat onto the road. “Right, you” he shouts, “I want you to masturbate”, “but……” stammers the driver, “Now…or I’ll bloody kill you” So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside this only takes a few seconds. “Right” says the highlander “Do it again!” “but…..” says the driver. “Now….” So the driver does it again. “Right do it again” demands the highlander. This goes on for nearly two hours. The driver has cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, and despite the mist and wind, has collapsed in a sweating jibbering heap on the ground, unable to walk. “Do it again” says the highlander. “I just can’t anymore – you’ll just have to kill me”, whimpers the man. The highlander looks down at the pathetic heap slumped on the roadside. “All right” he says, “NOW you can give my daughter a lift to Inverness.”
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September 7, 2011 9:04pm
Ryan Sproull

I regret to inform you all that I am laughing at Scott’s jokes.
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September 7, 2011 9:10pm
nasska

After her fifth child, Mary decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery “down below” to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her bomb doors were dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that,with five children being enough, she’d tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot rather than a badly packed kebab. Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.
“Who are these from?” she asked the nurse, “They’re very nice but I’m a bit confused as to why I’ve received them.”
“Well” said the nurse, “The first is from the surgeon – the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks”.
“Ahhh, that’s really nice!” said Mary.
“The second is from your husband – he’s delighted the operation was such a success that he can’t wait to get you home. Apparently it’ll be the first time he’s touched the sides for years and he’s very excited!”.
“Brilliant!” said Mary. “And the third?”.
“That’s from John in the burns unit”, said the nurse. “He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears!”
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September 7, 2011 9:11pm
Ryan Sproull

Oh dear.
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September 7, 2011 9:14pm
Griff

A visiting teacher at Hutt Valley high is giving a seminar on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”

About 20 students raise their hands.

“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?”

About 10 students raise their hands.

“That’s really good. I’m glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”

Five students raise their hands.

“That’s a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”

two students raise their hands.

“That’s fantastic. But let me ask you one question further: Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”

One student in the back raises his hand. The teacher is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

The redneck student (remember, this is Hutt Valley) replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium.

The teacher says, “Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost.”

The student replies, “Ghost!? I thought you said ‘goats.'”
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September 7, 2011 9:26pm
tristanb

Might I take this opportunity to mindlessly be pissed off at another parole board decision:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10750038&ref=rss

“A Waikato Black Power member who tattooed “Property of Leon” across the face of his former partner, who he later murdered, is on the run and should not be approached, police say.

Seriously. Who the hell let him out?! Who in their right mind?! They thought that a gang member who did this was rehabilitated?!? I hope they feel responsible if this guy goes on a shooting spree or kills another woman!

The sad thing is that when they catch him, he’ll go away for two years then it’s rinse and repeat.

Rant over.
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September 7, 2011 10:47pm
Tookinator

A young guy goes into a bar and orders 3 double whisky’s. The barman says “3 double whiskeys, what are you celebrating?”

The young guy says “I just got my first blow job.”

Barman says, “Congratulations – I’ll buy you another treble whisky!”

Young guy says. “It’ll take more than that to get the taste out of my mouth…”
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September 7, 2011 11:05pm
bc

nasska @ 8.22pm
That is the best one yet! So offensive but so funny.
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September 7, 2011 11:09pm
Griff

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10750070
“A special report by the Child and Youth Mortality Review Committee, published today, has found that alcohol was involved in at least 31 per cent of road accident deaths, 30 per cent of fatal assaults and falls, 21 per cent of deaths by poisoning, 16 per cent of drownings and 10 per cent of suffocations by young people aged between four weeks and 25 years between 2005 and 2007.
About 86 per cent of those in their early twenties, and 52 per cent of those aged 15 to 19, died because of their own drinking.
The other 48 per cent of 15 to 19-year-olds and 14 per cent of those in their early twenties died because of someone else’s drinking – usually the driver of a car.”

And hows this for MSM misshttp://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/5577974/No-apology-over-Urewera-raids-Collins

Last year outgoing Police Commissioner Howard Broad said Tuhoe could get a formal apology for the raids that happened under his command.
“I will say that I will stand and explain to Tuhoe what the police did. If it comes to an apology.”

An explanation of what they did is not that a justification rather than an apology ?
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September 7, 2011 11:35pm
KiwiGreg

@ Viking “How can a person who is thick as a sack of hammers, get on the Auckland University academic pay roll?”

This is the same university which employs Susan St John so Mutu’s in good company.

I could not be more ashamed of my alma mater. Had to go their recently for one of my daughters’ debates and walking the corridors and seeing the leftist trash on the walls of the lecturers’ offices mad me ill. The place is beyond redemption.
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September 8, 2011 6:53am
Viking2

“What gives Mr Henare the idea that he is entitled to drive as he pleases? Does being a National MP and driving around in an Audi splashed with National Party colours entitle him to special treatment … be rude to other road users, ignore road rules and endanger others on the road? Is he better and more important than others?”

What could anyone say except, “situation normal” 😆
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September 8, 2011 7:02am

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