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July 23, 2011 8:00am by Kokila Patel

General Debate 23 July 2011

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General Debate

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Viking2

Sport
Next Article: Livescoring: Saturday rugby updates
Rugby: Southland take Shield off Canterbury
4:50 PM Saturday Jul 23, 2011

Southland 22
Canterbury 19
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July 23, 2011 5:20pm
Johnboy

“Let me guess. Three smileys in a single post does not equal good news?”

Happiness is in the eye of the beholder. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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July 23, 2011 5:22pm
mikenmild

V2

A good game, although I only saw the second half. Nice to see a game won with a drop goal – I always find that quite dramatic.
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July 23, 2011 5:25pm
Viking2

In case you are wondering about yourself.

Take this test.

DEMENTIA QUIZ:

FIRST QUESTION:

YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON, WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

ANSWER : IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST,
THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE!

TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
NOW ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION,
BUT DON’T TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS
YOU TOOK FOR THE FIRST QUESTION, OK?

SECOND QUESTION:
IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE….?
(SCROLL DOWN)

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU ARE…..
WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??

YOU’RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, ARE YOU?

THIRD QUESTION:
VERY TRICKY ARITHMETIC! NOTE:
THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY.
DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR.
TRY IT.

TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 NOW ADD 30.
ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 .. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000.
NOW ADD 10.. WHAT IS THE TOTAL?

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER…..

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

DID YOU GET 5000?

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100…

IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IT, CHECK IT WITH A CALCULATOR!
TODAY IS DEFINITELY NOT YOUR DAY, IS IT?

MAYBE YOU’LL GET THE LAST QUESTION RIGHT…. MAYBE…

FOURTH QUESTION:

MARY’S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS: 1. NANA, 2. NENE, 3… NINI, 4. NONO, AND ???
2. WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER?~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

DID YOU ANSWER NUNU? NO! OF COURSE IT ISN’T.
HER NAME IS MARY! READ THE QUESTION AGAIN!

OKAY, NOW THE BONUS ROUND,
I.E., A FINAL CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF:

A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH.
BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE SUCCESSFULLY EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE PURCHASE IS DONE.
NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WHO WANTS TO BUY A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES; HOW DOES HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

IT’S REALLY VERY SIMPLE
HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND ASKS FOR IT…
DOES YOUR EMPLOYER ACTUALLY PAY YOU TO THINK??
IF SO DO NOT LET THEM SEE YOUR ANSWERS FOR THIS TEST!

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
HAVE A NICE DAY sunshine, see you on the short yellow bus
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July 23, 2011 6:00pm
Johnboy

Earth to Grumpy? Earth to Grumpy? Come in Grumpy?

Hissssssssss.

Earth to dumb brown planet? Hello are you there?

Earth to dumb brown planet? Hello are you there?

Hissssssssss.

This is Earth control: Stop wasting transmission power. There is no intelligent life on the dumb brown planet.

Roger Earth control. 🙂
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July 23, 2011 6:13pm
Fletch

President Obama regifting?

Mr Obama has given Mr Key a New Zealand-made gift, a replica of the sword being used in the Hobbit movies, by the character Bilbo Baggins.

It was made by the Weta Workshop in Wellington.

In return, Mr Key gave Mr Obama a greenstone mere, made by Ngai Tahu.

Why the hell would Obama give John Key a sword made by Weta workshop for the Hobbit? I mean, it was made here already. Obama is one of the worst gift givers – he gave the Queen an iPod filled with tunes he likes…..
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July 23, 2011 6:17pm
Pete George

I take most blog scraps with a grain of salt. Some are worth going for, some are entertaining. Very occasionally I get really pissed off, and that’s happened today. A terrible, sad day for Norway – and this is where some stoop:

http://thestandard.org.nz/keys-sickening-opportunism-over-norway-attacks/
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July 23, 2011 6:28pm
kiwisimplexity

Problem youth sucks Military Activity Camps
There ya go. All good intentions and everything, but another failure for a Social Development program.
http://kiwisimplexity.wordpress.com/2011/07/22/problem-youth-sucks-military-activity-camps/

Warzone Oslo
A big explosion was the start of what looked like a urban war in Norwegian capital Oslo.
http://kiwisimplexity.wordpress.com/2011/07/23/warzone-oslo/

http://kiwisimplexity.wordpress.com/
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July 23, 2011 6:39pm
reid

Why the hell would Obama give John Key a sword made by Weta workshop for the Hobbit? I mean, it was made here already. Obama is one of the worst gift givers – he gave the Queen an iPod filled with tunes he likes…

My mum told me once one of the old PM’s Nash maybe, got a nice lighter engraved and all, from the US Pres. NZ Foreign Office hadn’t told him this was going to happen, so he took out a match – larger in those days – and carefully wrote on it the opposite of the engraving to him and gave it to the Pres.

Personally I’ve always found the best universal gift for any any boy or man is a motorised plastic modeling kit of the Yamato. I’ve never met any normal fellow who can resist one of those.
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July 23, 2011 6:39pm
nasska

A guy starts a new job, and the boss says, “If you marry my daughter, I’ll make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Mercedes, and a million dollar annual salary.”

The guy says, “What’s wrong with her?”

The boss shows him a picture, and she’s hideous.

The boss says, “It’s only fair to tell you, she’s not only ugly, she’s as dumb as a wall.”

The guy says, “I don’t care what you offer me, it ain’t worth it.”

The boss says, “I’ll give you a five million dollar salary and build you a mansion on Long Island.”

The guy accepts, figuring he can put a bag over her head when they have sex.

About a year later, the guy buys an original Van Gogh and he’s about to hang it on the wall.

He climbs a ladder and yells to his wife, “Bring me a hammer.”

She mumbles, “Get the hammer. Get the hammer,” and she fetches the hammer.

The guy says, “Get me some nails.”

She mumbles, “Get the nails. Get the nails,” and she gets him some nails.

The guys starts hammering a nail into the wall, he hits his thumb, and he yells, “Fuck!”

She mumbles, “Get the bag. Get the bag.”
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July 23, 2011 7:00pm
Rodders

🙂
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July 23, 2011 7:21pm
nasska

Becky was on her deathbed with her husband, John, maintaining a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber.
She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. “My darling John,” she whispered.
“Hush, my love,” he said. “Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don’t talk.”
But she was insistent. “John,” she said in her tired voice. “I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you.”
“There’s nothing to confess” replied the weeping John. “It’s all right. everything’s all right, go to sleep now.”
“No, no. I must die in peace, John. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father.”
John mustered a pained smile and stroked her hand. “Hush now Becky, don’t torment yourself. I know all about it.” he said, “Why do you think I poisoned you?”
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July 23, 2011 7:32pm
Rodders

🙂
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July 23, 2011 7:55pm
Viking2

—–
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon ‘quickie’ with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the Street activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: ‘There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,’ he shouted. ‘An ambulance just drove by!’ ‘Looks like the Anderson’s have company,’ he called out. ‘Matt’s riding a new bike!’ ‘Looks like the Sanders are moving!’ ‘Jason is on his skate board!

After a few moments he announced, ‘The Coopers are shagging!!’

Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, ‘How do you know they’re shagging?’

‘Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Mars Bar’.
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July 23, 2011 8:59pm
Luc Hansen

# Pete George (10,552) Says:
July 23rd, 2011 at 6:28 pm

I take most blog scraps with a grain of salt. Some are worth going for, some are entertaining. Very occasionally I get really pissed off, and that’s happened today. A terrible, sad day for Norway – and this is where some stoop:

http://thestandard.org.nz/keys-sickening-opportunism-over-norway-attacks/

I agree, Pete. JK stooped pretty low.

Here’s what I posted over at The Standard:

I don’t have time to read all the comments above, so I don’t know if this has been mentioned, but on the Bill O’Reilly show this afternoon (hosted on Fridays by the gorgeous but raving mad Laura Ingraham) the blame was immediately placed on Muslims and that was followed by a piece on the so-called Ground Zero Mosque, although it is neither at Ground Zero nor a mosque: it is, in fact, a Lower Manhatten community centre.

And I also found JK’s comments obscene. As in obscenely opportunistic.

He said something like if it is a global terror attack then it shows we are not immune to terrorism ourselves.

We now know it was not a global Muslim plot, so does that mean we are now immune and can drop all those anti-terrorist laws that take the freedom out of being Kiwi?

I suspect not.

There must be something under those beds…
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July 23, 2011 11:43pm
starboard

** Breaking News **

..I see they found Amy Winehouse dead in her apartment…oh dear..
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July 24, 2011 7:19am
Manolo

Winehouse was a disaster waiting to happen. Only a matter of time.
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July 24, 2011 7:26am
Pete George

I wasn’t a fan, I got sick of the TV “news” reports, but it’s still a bit of a shock.

Another druggy musician to go at 26. She will probably have known that.
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July 24, 2011 7:37am
Rat

nasska (1,114) Says:

July 23rd, 2011 at 8:03 am
When the end of the world arrives how will the NZ blogosphere report it?

“Roger Kerr: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

Tumeke: NATIONAL TO BLAME

Kiwiblog: DEATH AND DAMNATION: CURIA POLLING SHEDS DOUBT ON TOMORROW

Cactus Kate: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE

Keeping Stock: ARMAGEDDON SALE – EVERYTHING MUST GO

Frogblog: AGW CAUSES GLOBAL DESTRUCTION

Red Alert: JOHN KEY & AMERICA BLOW UP WORLD

Whale Oil Gotcha: WELL KNOWN CRIPPLE TREVOR MALLARD WELCOMED IN HELL

NZ Conservative: NO MORE ABORTIONS, NO MORE SODOMY, WE WON”

Kiwiblog: Correct National policies creates 10 Billion jobs.

Very sad about Norway, these things will happen when there is a sad mix of extreme right wing beliefs, a gun fascination bordering on obsessive and a mental disorder
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July 24, 2011 7:56am

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