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April 19, 2011 8:00am by David Farrar

General Debate 19 April 2011

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General Debate

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Pauleastbay

A little bit of legal humour to lighten things up and a rest from smiley faces

ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
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April 19, 2011 6:27pm
kaya

It’s a bit unfair to compare with Gt Barrier. Manurewa has around 80,000 people? Barrier has around 600. Also the island has no sewerage, no reticulated water, no power, no refuse collection. (transfer stations).

They are hardly living off the pigs back of council funding. Sure, as a percentage it looks good but statistics can say anything you want them to say. Manurewa residents have many more services than those of GBI.
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April 19, 2011 6:31pm
nasska

Definitions in Construction …

TENDER SUBMISSION:
A poker game in which the losing hand wins.
TENDER SUM:
A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.
SUCCESSFUL TENDERER:
A contractor who is wondering what he left out.
ARCHITECT:
A man who knows very little about a great deal, and keeps knowing less and less about more and more until he knows practically nothing about everything.
CONSULTING ENGINEER:
A man who knows a great deal about very little, and goes on knowing more and more about less and less until he knows practically everything about nothing.
QUANTITY SURVEYORS:
People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded.
LAWYERS:
People who go in after the Quantity Surveyors and strip the bodies.
COST PLAN ESTIMATE:
The cost of construction in heaven.
MANAGEMENT CONTRACT:
The technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.
COMPLETION DATE:
The point at which liquidated damages begin.
LIQUIDATED DAMAGES:
A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.
SUB-CONTRACTOR:
A gambler, who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.
CONTRACTOR:
A man who starts out knowing practically everything, but ends up knowing nothing due to his association with Architects and Consulting Engineers.
ENGINEER:
They save lives – fortunately they weren’t smart enough to go on and become Doctors.
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April 19, 2011 6:44pm
Diziet Sma

Fidel Castro resigns!
http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5gElZjInRlKQOZ46LyBe-mcCuGLbA?docId=CNG.d82a43e2d95eff64a2a1f60f64f85948.721
yay!
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April 19, 2011 6:45pm
nickb

re calendar girls 1.15pm

I went to school with Luke Yates, he was a good guy. Had a young son too. So sad
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April 19, 2011 6:50pm
Steve

Penny not so Bright is faking. Very smart move. She knows that benifits for the lazy are becoming harder and harder to obtain.
Why not fake a mental breakdown, get admited to a clinic, then get trips to the Library to play nutbar on the Blogs all day?
Phool posts from the Library. Are you Phool?
Just in case here are some full stops:
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
Your shit makes no sense so a few full stops should make even less sense. Keep taking the pills
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April 19, 2011 6:56pm
David Garrett

Jesus H…I have defended the Parole Board on numerous occaisons…given that they are between a rock and a hard place given the legislation that they operate under..

And then I read of their statements regarding John Gillies, who amost killed a policeman almost 20 years ago…He is now apparently motivated to change, and the Board is impressed with how [he says] he handled a problem within his unit…

God save us from fools….
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April 19, 2011 7:00pm
Nookin

This is compulsory viewing

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Mrs+Brown+has+a+bikini+wax&
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April 19, 2011 7:14pm
Put it away

Penny not-too-Bright

Am not a JAFA, never set foot in the place. Have no interest or knowledge in AK local body politics. But on general principles

– Am not surprised that rates are going up under a leftie mayor. Were you expecting anything different?

– Am not surprised by a 4.9% increase in a time of 4% inflation. Were you expecting anything different?
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April 19, 2011 7:15pm
Put it away

Oh yeah, almost forgot to ask:

Penny not-too-Bright, do you believe the miners were murdered?

Do you believe the people “jacob cohen” says should be charged, should be charged?

Do you agree with him that it’s an international jewish financial conspiracy ultimately controlled by the queen, who is the whore of babylon from the book of Revelations?
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April 19, 2011 7:19pm
RRM

Granted, the writing style is starting to look a bit like Philu with the abandonment of properly formulated paragraphs in favour of double-spaced one-liners.

But the complete absence of dot dot dots…

… the lack of oddly-posed questions..

… and the noticably different conversational rhythm…

… make it reasonably clear (IMHO)…

… that Penny Bright is not Philu.

….eh?
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April 19, 2011 7:22pm
Nookin

PIA
Of course she was expecting something different. Unfortunately the council has been infiltrated by an interplanetary cartel which is secretly driving up prices so that the council will sell off assets to interests also owned by the cartel. This must be a matter of concern to all ratepayers throught the country. It is the thin edge of the wedge. I am writing a book about it. Out soon.
“How the aliens Fucked over Auckland” by Dr Jacob Cohen
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April 19, 2011 7:24pm
KevinH

Penny is certainly recieving more attention on Kiwiblog than the 128 people who voted for her in the Botany bye election. Penny recieved less than 1% of the vote which is consistent with her supporter base ie mum, dad , aunties, uncles and others who felt sorry for her.
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April 19, 2011 7:38pm
Put it away

RRM “double-spaced one-liners. ”

I can’t help thinking that penny reads these with pauses between the lines to wait for the applause in her head to die down.
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April 19, 2011 7:42pm
Rex Widerstrom

@Nookin:

That is absolutely classic. Thank you! And US (and NZ) audiences think a dickhead like Charlie Sheen is risqué because he makes the one joke about sex 16 times an episode.

@David Garrett:

Given that Gillies is a year off finishing his full sentence, I suspect the Board are taking a “glass half full” approach and hoping that giving him a year off might result in some gratitude, demonstrated as good behaviour. As I’ve said above, I doubt it, but they’re definitely between a rock and a hard place on this one so your criticism is, I think, unfounded.
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April 19, 2011 8:09pm
Hurf Durf

Martyn “Bummer” Bradbury’s getting exciteable recently. He ought to be careful, he might pop a blood vessel in his head and that would be awful.
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April 19, 2011 8:12pm
Pete George

Re Gillies, I presume they have to let him out in a year maximum anyway, this way they should have more control over him for his first time out.
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April 19, 2011 8:18pm
reid

Jesus H…I have defended the Parole Board on numerous occaisons…given that they are between a rock and a hard place given the legislation that they operate under..

And then I read of their statements regarding John Gillies, who amost killed a policeman almost 20 years ago…He is now apparently motivated to change, and the Board is impressed with how [he says] he handled a problem within his unit…

David I don’t know Gillies, you may well be right, some, even many of them are just plain bad and should never be let out and I have no problem with that, but what specifically is it about him today, as opposed to what he used to be like, that makes you think what you do?
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April 19, 2011 8:22pm
Hurf Durf

Those super-long-lasting eco lightbulbs? One just died after four months use. Progress!

In keeping with its environmental ethos, I’m going to put it and the mercury inside in a bag and toss it out with the regular rubbish.
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April 19, 2011 9:37pm
Put it away

And knowing that somewhere a hippie is shedding a tear makes it all the sweeter
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April 19, 2011 10:00pm
starboard

“Given that Gillies is a year off finishing his full sentence, I suspect the Board are taking a “glass half full” approach and hoping that giving him a year off might result in some gratitude”

Gillies is a scumbag thug Rex ..leopards never change their spots. He’s not capable of showing gratitude. His appreciation will unfortunately be shown in the form of another serious assault/murder on some poor unsuspecting member of the public.
He’s a feral arsehole and a candidate for prison starboard where I would deal with him personally in my own way over a long period of time.
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April 20, 2011 4:22am
Viking2

Why we should STOP teaching Te Reo.
This clearly demonstrates that it assists in no way with the understanding of our English language and what the law says.
Worse we the taxpayer paid this person a no doubt considerable sum of money to educate others. Fuck the tax payer is stupid some days.

Ex-public servant in cocaine smuggling arrest
CLIO FRANCIS AND DIEGO OPATOWSKI
Last updated 05:00 20/04/2011

STOPPED AT AIRPORT: Sharon Armstrong is a former deputy chief executive of the Maori Language Commission.

A former top-ranking public servant has been arrested in Argentina, accused of trying to leave the country with five kilograms of cocaine in a false-bottomed suitcase.

Wellington woman Sharon Armstrong, aged in her early 50s, is being detained in Buenos Aires after being arrested on April 13. It is understood she was on her way to London to meet a man she had been dating online.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/4907721/Ex-public-servant-in-cocaine-smuggling-arrest

Menopausal women?????
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April 20, 2011 6:45am
Viking2

ACC. and Its Specialists.

A supposed specialist in the employ of ACC diagnosed an injury as degenerative when other specialists who actually LOOKED at the MRI scam said no it isn’t.

Question; Should the ACC specialist involved be taken before the Medical Council and his license to Practice be revoked.?

Seems clear case of fraud by that specialist based upon the article.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10720485

The problem is that this is becoming standard practice for ACC.

Still should we be surprised given that the ACC minister is a beleiver in fraud with his imposition of the ETS.
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April 20, 2011 7:01am
Inventory2

@ Viking2 – might I dare to suggest that the offending have more to do with the “man she had been dating online” than her ethnicity. Note too that Armstrong is a FORMER public servant.
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April 20, 2011 7:06am
Put it away

When ethnicity is the primary reason for giving someone a job, and qualifications like “not being a complete fucking moron” are secondary concerns, then the quality of employees is not going to be as high as it could be.
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April 20, 2011 7:16am
Pete George

Victim not upset by Gillies release

The former policeman permanently disabled by notorious criminal John Gillies says he is not upset his attacker will again be freed early from jail – he is instead focused on turning troubled teens’ lives around.
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April 20, 2011 7:38am
David Garrett

Reid: Gillies has a long history – over 20 years – of serious violent offending. As someone said on the “three strikes” thread, prison works well for a significant number of offenders in that they experience the Big House once or twice and dont go back, others simply grow out of their offending, and a few – those “20% who commit 80% of the crime” – keep getting worse. Gillies is almost certainly one of those, although I could be wrong, and I hope I am. Unlike the smug ones over at the Standard and clowns like “bomber”, I have never claimed divine certainty, and no one will be more pleased than me if Gillies dissappears into a life of bland anyonymity.

But like Starboard, I think that is unlikely, and tragically the proof is likely to be a murder, or the ruining of another life like that of former Constable Nigel Hendrikkse (sp??). And well done to that man for doing his best to prevent the evolution of further Gillies’.

Again, lets hope you are right Reid, and Starboard and me are wrong.
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April 20, 2011 7:48am
Manolo

A peaceful native appoints himself.

A self-appointed Maori guardian of Lake Horowhenua has been found guilty of assaulting two local boaties but says he will risk arrest again to protect his lake.

In Palmerston North District Court yesterday, Philip Taueki, 51, was found guilty of assaulting Horowhenua Sailing Club member Tony Brown, 66, and Mr Brown’s son David, 33, in September 2008. A n earlier conviction was quashed last year.

The fight took place when Taueki approached the Browns, who were preparing for an afternoon regatta, and asked them not to put the rescue boat on the lake. Outside court, Taueki said he would not rule out breaking the law again if he felt someone was “desecrating” Lake Horowhenua.
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April 20, 2011 8:14am
publicwatchdog

# alex Masterley (628) Says:
April 19th, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Nookin,
The question needs to be asked, and that is does PB declare income recieved from donations to the IRD.
Unless there is a charity some-where, and I doubt that there is, none of the donations will be considered to be charitable, instead they will be treated as income (and therefore taxable) in the hands of the recipient.”

Alex – I’m not interested in idle bluster or veiled threats.

Don’t TALK about it.

DO it.

Make a formal request to the IRD to investigate my income, including occasional donations to help cover living expenses.

Do it NOW, then scan a copy of your written ‘request’ and post it up here for the world to see.

See?

You’re not going to put your money where your mouth is are you?

In my considered opinion, ‘Alex’ – you are as gutless as you are arguably unprincipled.

Prove that you’re not!

GO ON – make a formal written request to the IRD to investigate my income, including occasional donations to help cover living expenses.

‘Put up – or shut up’? I believe is the expression that covers this situation?

yawn…………………..

It’s ok ‘Alex’ – I won’t hold my breath waiting for you to ‘follow through’, as it were.

How about Nookin?

Are you ‘MAN’ enough to do that which ‘Alex’ won’t have the guts to do?

Make a formal written request to the IRD to investigate my income, including occasional donations to help cover living expenses?

No – thought not.

Ahhh – just LOVE those ‘heads I win – tails I win’ scenarios 😉

Got the picture all you ‘Kiwiblog’ kids?

If you want to play with the big kids (errr ….mature, thinking adults) – you have to be tough.

Just try your best.

Kind regards and best wishes.

You all have a LOVELY day!

Penny Bright
http://waterpressure.wordpress.com
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April 20, 2011 10:21am
lofty

Thanks Penny I will 😉
Oh and you too.
How did the meeting go last night?
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April 20, 2011 10:27am
lofty

Careful Penny, you may get what you wish for, some of the posters here are really quite big boys, they are intimatley involved in the VRWC, and have tentacles in the highest of places within the halls of power.
This blog is merely a vehicle to find and sound out people like you.
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April 20, 2011 10:31am
Nookin

And still, Penny you don’t apologise to IV2, don ‘t address the pertinent questions and respond by denigrating your critics and saying how big and tough you are. You are here for the sole purpose of attracting attention to yourself. Your posts are becoming increasingly devoid of merit and, to the extent that there may be a valid cause somewhere in your mangled thinking, you have lost all credibility. As I said on another thread, have the last word, if you wish. Your ego clearly demands it. I won’t get any ulcers over it.

All said in a caring and sensitive way, of course
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April 20, 2011 10:56am

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