Mallard v Quinn

After some lobbying on my behalf, Backbenches has arranged MPs Paul Quinn and Trevor Mallard to be on the same panel tomorrow night.

Now for those who don’t know, Paul and Trevor both stood for Hutt South, both are pretty adept at winding each up, and both can be pretty stroppy fellas.

So it should be a wonderful night’s viewing. I recommend getting in early for a seat. And bring popcorn.

While the show should be entertainment enough, I’ve been thinking we could make it even more enjoyable for spectators with the launch of the Mallard-Quinn drinking game. The proposed rules are:

• Drink one sip if either interject each other
• Drink one sip if either puts the other down
• Drink two sips if either appears to compliment the other, but it is really a veiled insult
• Drink two sips if either use a moderate term of abuse (idiot, dumb, thick etc)
• Drink three sips if either use one of the seven banned words.
• Drink four sips if use of if the seven banned words is in a way which is anatomically impossible
• Drink five sips if one of them whacks the other. Drink a bonus sip if they accidentally hit Wallace by mistake.
• Scull the jug if they agree with each other

Additional rule suggestions are welcome.

UPDATE: The Paul Quinn fan club has suggested the official names for the bout should be Mallard the Hammer v the Maori side-step Quinn, and they are backing Moimoi Quinn.