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August 13, 2009 1:07pm by David Farrar

Another caption contest

The gift that keeps on giving for caption contests. From the Dominion Post. As always funny, not nasty.

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Comment77

Humour
NZ Politics
caption contest
Humour
Phil Goff

Comments (77)

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Murray

1st and 2nd place winners of the “goofiest smile and dead eyes” competition.
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August 13, 2009 1:13pm
Shunda barunda

Bear whispers “don’t worry, I don’t eat junk food”.
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August 13, 2009 1:15pm
Fletch

BEAR: Watch out Phil, I’m not the only one who’s going to end up mounted.

Sorry, couldn’t resist…
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August 13, 2009 1:19pm
trout

A bearfaced lie.
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August 13, 2009 1:20pm
Shunda barunda

Phil comes to work with a bare behind.
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August 13, 2009 1:20pm
Shunda barunda

Helen Clark shouts Phil a bear for his birthday.
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August 13, 2009 1:23pm
Cerium

Hardly bearable
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August 13, 2009 1:28pm
Brian Smaller

I know the polls are bad but c’mon Phil: Just grin and bear it.
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August 13, 2009 1:35pm
lofty

This bear and Goff were talking.

The bear asked Goff, “Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your suit?”

Goff said, “No.” I am the teflon man

So the bear picked up Goff and used him to wipe his arse.
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August 13, 2009 1:35pm
Ben Wilson

Phil grins and bears it.

As any man knows, bear back is best.
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August 13, 2009 1:36pm
unaha-closp

Bear eats lamb.
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August 13, 2009 1:38pm
Sarkozygroupie

I liked the sub caption in the paper yesterday: Which one is stuffed? And the answer is both.

Just as well Helen is on the phone to Phil’s caucus every five minutes still running the show otherwise how would he ever cope?
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August 13, 2009 1:40pm
lofty

Bear: Phil have you ever hunted bear?
Phil: No, but I’ve been shooting in my shorts!
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August 13, 2009 1:40pm
Sam Buchanan

Goofy: “It’s good knowing the party’s so impressed with my leadership that I don’t ever have to watch my back!”
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August 13, 2009 1:47pm
Shunda barunda

Goff unaware of bear to rear.
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August 13, 2009 1:50pm
lofty

If these 2 ever bred, Would you get a bear faced liar?
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August 13, 2009 1:55pm
Buggerlugs

Once again i have noticed something odd about the photo – is that a pocket protector in Goff’s breast pocket? wouldn’t fucking surprise me.
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August 13, 2009 1:57pm
tom hunter

With small apologies to the true story

WITH jaws that can crush a DPB’s skull in a single bite, a bear lunges at a Labour politician foolish enough to enter the debating chamber.

Incredibly, the unnamed politician survived his encounter with nature’s most powerful land predator, despite feeling the razor sharpness of the half-ton bear’s inch-long teeth on his body.

Last Thursday visitors to the debating chamber saw the man, with short-hair and wearing a neck protector, clamber over a seat and jump into the chamber where the animal, Judith, and three others generally relax.

As he moved towards the bear, it plunged from it’s seat into the middle of the chamber, gripping him and raking his back with its claws.

Before the bear could deliver a bite that would have snapped his spine, aides managed to push it away. The man was taken to hospital with wounds to his arms, legs and back. Police did not say why he had jumped in with the animal, but noted the presence of several TV cameras and a UMR focus group. Witnesses also reported hearing the cry – “Fierce” – as the man jumped, though Police are unsure what this could mean.

The aides also kept at bay three other bears, including Dunny, who was abandoned by his party in 2005. He was raised by humans despite calls from animal rights campaigners for him to be put down.

Dunny has attracted some people wanting a closer look. Last December, a man describing himself as “lonely” jumped into his seat but escaped uninjured after keepers lured Dunny away with “Peter Capolla” Hair Strengthening Cream.
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August 13, 2009 1:59pm
Sarkozygroupie

I can’t tell if its pocket protector but has anyone else noticed that the bear and other one show a remarkably striking similarity in cast?
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August 13, 2009 2:02pm
sbk

Breaking News..

Yogi and Boo Boo set to star in the remake of the Cul(t)len classic

“The Cupboard is all Bare”
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August 13, 2009 2:06pm
philu

“..we go to the same dentist..”..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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August 13, 2009 2:10pm
philu

look out..!..behind you..!..it’s cunliffe..!

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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August 13, 2009 2:11pm
philu

rehearsing bear-faced lies..

(sorry..!..)

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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August 13, 2009 2:15pm
coventry

“Pooh sidled up to Goofy from behind. “Goofy,” he whispered.
“Yes, Pooh?”
“Nothing,” said Pooh, taking Goofy’s paw, “I just wanted to be sure of you.””
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August 13, 2009 2:37pm
coventry

I wasn’t going to eat it. I was just going to taste it.
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August 13, 2009 2:38pm
coventry

I’m rumbly in my tumbly!
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August 13, 2009 2:38pm
Shunda barunda

Phil whispers without breaking a smile… “Philip Field is the one on the left”
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August 13, 2009 2:47pm
lukas

IV2 has done this one well over here http://keepingstock.blogspot.com/2009/08/phil-goff-caption-contest.html

I would suggest that a good photo for a caption contest can be found on frog blog at the moment with thanks to our good friend Catherine DeLahunty http://blog.greens.org.nz/2009/08/13/5636/
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August 13, 2009 2:49pm
Sam Buchanan

“I just met somebody else who finds people shake their hands then count their fingers to make sure they’ve got them all back!”
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August 13, 2009 2:50pm
wreck1080

And baby bear said, someone’s been stealing my money too….and now it’s all gone and my piggy banks broken too.
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August 13, 2009 2:52pm
noskire

“It seems wherever I turn, I’m always being bear-rated.”
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August 13, 2009 2:56pm
Peter

“Get a perm, Comrade Phil….does a flamingo forget how to fly?”
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August 13, 2009 2:57pm
gnadsmasher

pssssst, Phil. You can come back to Mother Russia now, the mission was successful.
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August 13, 2009 3:03pm
2boyz

Hey Boo Boo, am I really smarter than the average bear
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August 13, 2009 3:10pm
philu

can lofty 1.35 pm be cited for plagiarism..?

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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August 13, 2009 3:12pm
philu

even tho’ it’s also plagiarised..

“get a perm..comrade phil..!”..is the funniest..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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August 13, 2009 3:15pm
Fletch

PHIL: (gesturing over shoulder), “don’t you think she’s strikingly beautiful?”

BEAR: Oh, honey, you’re sooo sweet.
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August 13, 2009 3:16pm
Komata

Phil had never really believed in ghosts – Uncle Joe’s was merely a figment of his over-active imagination.
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August 13, 2009 3:19pm
Fletch

PHIL: I’d like you to meet my fiance, Matilda.
We are related, but only as second cousins, so the Bishop has given us permission to marry.
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August 13, 2009 3:20pm
coventry

Oi Goff, Can I have my Honey Trap back.
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August 13, 2009 3:26pm
Right of way is Way of Right

And when the dust had settled, all there was left was a few bloodstains and a receipt reading “$75.00 for one day Hire of Bear suit to Mr R Worth.”
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August 13, 2009 3:38pm
Peter

““get a perm..comrade phil..!”..is the funniest..”

Yeah baby….
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August 13, 2009 3:40pm
Inventory2

Not so much a caption as a comment – anyone else spot a passing resemblance in this photo between Goff and Donald Trump? I bet he’s wishing he could get Chris Carter in and say “You’re fired”, but Helen wouldn’t approve!
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August 13, 2009 3:40pm
mickysavage

The trophy behind me?

He used to be the Prime Minister of New Zealand until I took him out in 2011.
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August 13, 2009 4:06pm
joeAverage

PISSSSSSSSSSSSST Phil ,,,,,Chris Carter loved it.
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August 13, 2009 4:13pm
MeneerCronje

No matter how hard I try, I can’t think of anything funny when I see that man.
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August 13, 2009 4:19pm
philu

(slight re-edit..)..

“MeneerCronje (19) Vote: Add rating 0 Subtract rating 0 Says:
August 13th, 2009 at 4:19 pm

No matter how hard I try, I can’t think of anything funny..”

you’d be a rightwinger..?..then..?

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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August 13, 2009 4:22pm
Lee C

Phil Goff looking relieved to find he no longer has to worry about having a monkey on his back in the form of Helen Clark, but too stupid to realise that now he has Andrew Little on his back in the form of a bear.
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August 13, 2009 4:44pm
Chris S

coventry: “Oi Goff, Can I have my Honey Trap back.”

That one’s a win!
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August 13, 2009 4:51pm
Sarkozygroupie

you’d be a rightwinger..?..then..?

phil(whoar.co.nz)

And you’d be an idiot…?…then…?

Go away and do some aggregating or whatever it is you think you do.
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August 13, 2009 4:56pm
philu

i agree sarkozygroupie..!

if i were a rightwinger..i would be an idiot..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
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August 13, 2009 5:03pm
Sarkozygroupie

Scintillating reposte. I’m in awe.
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August 13, 2009 5:05pm
Mlec

I thought it was Donald Trump, You mean Donald Trump is not the leader of the labour party?
Oh Crap!
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August 13, 2009 5:17pm
maurieo

“Does a bear shit in the woods”
“Does a polly shaft the taxpayer”
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August 13, 2009 5:47pm
big bruv

“This ain’t the woods Phil but you still smell like shit”
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August 13, 2009 5:56pm
Tim Ellis

Which one escaped from the circus?
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August 13, 2009 5:59pm
Haiku Dave

first phil poses with
a lamb, and now it’s a bear!
whatever is next?!
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August 13, 2009 6:10pm
Hurf Durf

Phil: “Bear season!”

Bear: “Duck season!”

Trev: “Wait, what?”

*gunshots*
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August 13, 2009 6:35pm
Bring Back Helen

Nope, I think Heather’s overseas with Helen at the moment.
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August 13, 2009 6:50pm
Michaels

BEAR: If I shit in the woods and no body sees me, did I really shit in the woods?

PHIL: If I spread malicious gossip about the opposition and people catch me, can I come live in the woods with you bear?
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August 13, 2009 7:12pm
Steve C

Bear economy? What bear economy? Labour left the economy in very good condition!
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August 13, 2009 7:24pm
toby1845

In breaking Entertainment news, Peter Jackson has announced the new signings for lead roles in his new project, ‘The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh’. Pooh Bear will play himself, and Phil Goff will play Eeyore the Donkey.

“Annette King and Trevor Mallard also auditioned,” said Jackson, “but unfortunately they had the wrong story. Still, when I remake ‘Wind In The Willows’ I will know who to cast as Mole and Toad.”
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August 13, 2009 8:37pm
NZTed

“Who ate all the picnic baskets Phil?” grizzled Yogi.
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August 13, 2009 8:41pm
toby1845

I wanted to say something about another Labour politican going bear (bare) back, but words failed me….
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August 13, 2009 8:47pm
NZTed

“Someone’s been troughing my taxpayer,” growled the Papa bear.
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August 13, 2009 8:49pm
Glutaemus Maximus

Stuffed dummy 1 “Are you dancing?

Stuffed dummy 2 “Are you asking?

Stuffed dummy 1 “I’m asking.”

Stuffed dummy 2 “So, I’m dancing wit choo! sweetie!”
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August 13, 2009 10:47pm
RKBee

YOUR LICKED….HONEY.
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August 13, 2009 11:06pm
Glutaemus Maximus

Goff to photographer “Do you know, I haven’t been this close to a Growler for years!”
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August 13, 2009 11:13pm
expat

Goff: “How can I tell it’s not Helen? Oh, her breath smells of mackerel not salmond”
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August 14, 2009 1:41am
Put it away

One of these two has a hope in hell of becoming Prime Minister at the next election. The other is Phil Goff
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August 14, 2009 9:05am
coge

On the completion of Labour selling their rights to Disney, it became clear that Goff’s new best friend was to be a bear.
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August 14, 2009 9:08am
wally

“Not now, Helen.”
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August 14, 2009 9:58am
JustRight

Can’t think of a caption. I just LOVE the photo – it is simply stunning.
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August 14, 2009 1:59pm
CraigM

In a closely run contest, Phil Goff just manages to pip a stuffed bear in the “goofiest smile” contest.
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August 14, 2009 2:59pm
3-coil

“I can give you the number of really good taxidermist…”
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August 16, 2009 3:17pm
NX

DPF finally works out why we’ve never seen Phil Goff’s wife.

“She maybe a bear”, states Phil, “but she’s a fox in bed”.

^ opps gone too far ;)…
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August 19, 2009 11:43pm
NX

Phil Goff took Helen’s latest advice from New York via SMS seriously…

“Just grin and bare it Phil”.
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August 20, 2009 12:27am

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