Dim-Post announces details of leaders debate

The Dim-Post announces new topics for the Leaders Debates to increase theri ratings:

TV3 is defending its controversial move to restrict the topics of their upcoming leaders debate to focus on 80’s popular culture after the decision was met with a storm of criticism.

Mark Jennings is the director of TV3’s News and Current Affairs. He insists that the network was forced into its current position by the two main parties, Labour and National.

‘The leaders have made a political choice,’ Mr Jennings said. ‘They have agreed that the majority of viewers are not likely to watch a debate about domestic and foreign policy so we intend to concentrate on where the party leaders stand on the early career of Madonna and whether Ghostbusters is funnier than The Lost Boys.‘

Ghost Busters is funnier – a classic.

Mr Jennings said today that he stood by the decision.

‘Our market research shows that less than 5% of viewers are interested in watching politicians debate education, taxation or health care but more than 60% will tune in to watch Key and Clark singing Bohemiam Rhapsody together.‘

Helen Clark announced that she looked forward to the debate in which she intended to show that John Key was unprepared to be Prime Minister and that Stevie Nicks was better than Cyndi Lauper. Key responded by challenging Clark to name four songs off the Motley Crue album Girls, Girls, Girls.

‘She cannot because she doesn’t have the facts and because she does not care about the Crue,’ Key told reporters. ‘She doesn’t care about Def Leopard, she doesn’t care about Bon Jovi and quite frankly New Zealanders are sick and tired of it.’

The scary thing is I could almost hear John Key’s voice in my head saying just that, as I read it.

The bulk of the debate will focus on 80’s films. Initial reports sugggest the two leaders are united in their support of The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Goonies but bitterly divided on key issues such as whether Labyrinth was better than The Dark Crystal.

They will also square off over the question of ‘Best 80’s Movie of All Time’. While Prime Minister Helen Clark has announced that she will endorse either Tootsie or The Princess Bride, National Leader John Key has indicated that he will argue vigorously for the movie Aliens which he describes as kickass totally awesome.

Labyrinth was better. Alien was better than Aliens and and The Princess Bride rocks.