If Bill had been Winston
In my mind, I have been imagining what the response to the secret taped conversation would have been if Bill English had been Winston. I guess something like:
- Deny the tape exists
- Deny it is you on the tape
- Claim that tape is a forgery
- Angrily call on Duncan Garner to apologise and be sacked from his job for broadcasting it
- Hold a press conference, and call everyone morons and scumbags
- Suggest Duncan personally fabricated the tape
- When proof comes out your voice is on it, claim that your lawyer never told you what the question was
- Demand Duncan be sacked again
- Upon questioning, deny you have a policy on Working for Families
- Then later on claim you do have a policy, and it is the same policy as written in 1993 and only lying wankers would claim otherwise
- Then as focus turns to comments on Kiwibank, deny all knowledge of Kiwibank. Say you have never even been inside a branch, and if you have never been inside Kiwibank how could you possibly have a policy on whether to sell it. Stress anyone who is not a moron could work that out.
- Go into the House and attack press gallery as rodents
- The following day claim you have proof that 15 years ago an MP from another party did the same thing. Produce no proof of this.
- Demand Duncan be sacked again