Winston’s computer code

PM of NZ has supplied this useful computer code:

>PROC DONATE()
> //open source rocks. no warranty. void where prohibited.

> var depositaccount=$0; //type currency

> WHILE (OG_NOT_CONSUL)
> .. depositaccount = depositaccount + 100K
> .. TRANSFERBALANCE(anyAccount)
> .. DO_NOT_DECLARE()
> ENDWHILE

> CALL INTENSE_MEDIA_SCRUTINY(answer=NO)

> IF answer = yes
> .. IF Country=’NZ’ THEN
> .. . CALL PM(‘not my problem’)
> .. . CALL SPEAKER(‘no laws broken, nothing to see here, move along‘)
> .. . FREE WinstonFirst()
> .. ELSE //any other country in the world
> .. . suspect:=defendant
> .. . status:=guilty
> .. . punishment:=max(long_jail_term(‘corruption’))
> .. . TOAST(suspect, status, punishment)
> .. . CALL SNAP_ELECTION()
> .. ENDIF
> ENDIF

> IF suspect == ‘Liarbour Foreign Minister’ and country=’NZ’ THEN
> .. CALL INSTRUCT_LAWYER(‘deny all knowledge’)
> .. CALL MOUTH_OFF(‘abuse media’)
> .. CALL MOUTH_OFF(‘threaten to sue)
> .. CALL AFFAIRS_OF_STATE(‘Condi’)
> .. DONATE(startover)
> ELSE
> .. SERVE_TIME()
> .. REPENT()
> .. BREAKLOOP()
> ENDIF

> ENDPROCxx

Very well done.

H/T: Original concept done at Crime Doesn’t Pay – NZ Conservative