Selling oneself on Trade Me

A unhappy bank employee is seeking a new employer by offering a year’s servitude on Trade Me.  He seems innovative:

I have no degree but I am yet to fail at a task given to me in the workplace.
“Do you know SQL?” I lied & read about it on the net that night. By the next day I was doing it for a living.

Current job not working too well:

My unfortunate lot currently is a manager who is going away for 3 months mid this year & will not allow me advancement as she needs someone to do her job while she is away (not for her pay though – dont be ridiculous!!). I would rather apply for a gun licence, wait my 2 weeks & then shoot myself in the face.

Flexible:

I am willing to do anything from flipping burgers to sorting recycling to credit analysis to event co-ordination to web site management to shaving nostril hairs…I really don’t mind. In fact, the worse the work sounds, the better the feeling will be when I say to my boss “Actually…I would rather be a sack back & crack guy for the salvation army beauticians then be the fall guy for 20,000 customers who whinge at me when your systems fail after I told you how to fix them”.

Hopefully he will get some bids.