Marital Expectations

It can be a sensible idea for a couple getting married to set out their expectations to each other. However prepare to be amazed at this list of “wifely expectations” set out by a Iowa man in a proposed contract with his wife. I summarize some below but you really should read the whole thing:

* She must shave every third day, with definitions of where to shave and even specifying a maximum 2″ x 1″ patch you know where with a maximum length also!

* At least half of shoe purchases must be high heels of greater than 2″ and panties must be thongs except during that time of month

* Must get naked within 20 minutes of the kids going to bed (now that one isn’t all bad 🙂

* He has three hours a day of “my time” during which she must not argue, complain, cry, sob, whine or pout. She also must during this time be subservient, submissive, cheerful and adoring and oh yeah is not allowed to say no to swallowing or greek.

* Dressing up for parties or going out dictates skirts must be no lower than two inches below the knee, except (get this) when going to church!

* The duration of certain acts such as fellatio is defined

* Her birthday present every year is getting to select a sex toy for her!

My God reality is often stranger than fiction. I suspect when the jury get read out this contract they will not need to hear any other evidence relating to the case. I also suspect he didn’t show his wife the proposed contract *before* they got married!

Hat Tip: Silent Running