Empire

Watched Empire tonight with Disease Girl. Now if one knew absolutely nothing at all about Roman history, it was probably a pretty enjoyable watch.

But if you do know the history of that era, then the mini-series is HERESY!

Where do I start. Well first of all the nonsense about some gladiator rescuing Gaius Octavius (Augustus) and them skulking about everywhere in cloaks and large hoods. They looked like a pair of Jedi as they sneaked into the Senate House through the secret underground passage (half expecting vampires from Buffy to jump out).

In fact the more Octavian and Tyrrannus ran about in their Jedi cloaks, the more Disease Girl and I took the piss out of it. When Cassius is threatening Cicero our dialogue is “Cicero, you will reveal the traitors or the full force of the Senate will be aimed at your home-world and it will be destroyed”

Truly truly awful. There were a few things accurate, but so much that wasn’t. Some of the more major ones:

* Atia is not Caesar’s sister, but his niece!
* Cicero was not Caesar’s secret ally but in fact an opponent of most of what Caesar did. While not an assassin himself, he supported their actions.
* One would never have guards invade the sanctum of the Vestal Virgins and mishandle one – their person was sacrosanct
* Octavius was in Albania, not Rome, when Caesar died
* I’m damn sure that the Senators who killed Caesar didn’t leave him alone and still alive in the Curia so he could whisper some final words half an hour later to a gladiator
* I’m also pretty sure that Octavius wasn’t trying to sleep with a Vestal Virgin as she would be buried alive if she was unchaste, and he would be whipped to death
* Caesar did not anoint Octavius as his successor as ruler of Rome. He adopted him and made him his heir

As I said, if you don’t know the history, it isn’t bad viewing. But its departures from accepted history are so great they exceed artistic license.