Kids – priceless

Stolen from Andrew Sullivan:

One of my nephews, Dominic, was in a Nativity Play. In the scene where Mary and Joseph arrive at the Inn, Mary asks the Innkeeper, played by a lad of seven, if he has any room. “Yes”, he says. “Mary, you can come in, but Joseph, you can fuck off”.

In the stunned silence that followed, it transpired that the Innkeeper had played Joseph himself the previous year and had taken his ‘demotion’ very much to heart.

It reminds me of the time at a scout camp, one of my co-leaders had her five year old daughter with her. The daughter was blond, adorable and looked like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. Her mum asked her to go fetch her purse from her tent, and adorable five year old daughter turns around and says “No, get fucked”. Her venturers, who had obviously trained her up to say this without telling her what it means, burst into hysterical laughter as everyone else is shocked into silence. Some corrective discipline was applied al la Section 59.