August 18, 2005 3:50pm by David Farrar

St Molesworth: Top 10 things to do if you’re caught speeding

1. Say you were totally engrossed in signing off Cabinet papers on a “Speed Kills” campaign.

2. Claim you didn’t notice how fast you were going because you were too busy painting.

3. Do what the average Kiwi would do and blame the nearest cop.

4. Explain that nothing interupts your monthly phone call to Dr Peter Davis.

5. Blame it on your genuine passion for rugby even though you’d rather be home reading a book.

6. Say you were rushing home to set the VCR to record Desperate Housewives.

7. Issue a statement saying, “by definition, I cannot speed”.

8. Don’t bother turning up in court – just send your press secretary.

9. Blame the entire thing on the last National government and the Bush administration.

10. Point out that it could have been worse: Ruth Dyson could have been driving.

Heh they are all very good this week. Favourites are 10, 9 and 2.