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July 24, 2005 10:39am by David Farrar

Proof Girls are Evil

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ZenTiger

There may be a flaw in that logic.

Every-one knows girls are made from sugar and spice and all things nice.

If you spend money on girls, then that may generate evil. Going from nice to evil would require a steady increase of money.

If you spend just enough to make them bad…then one can only expect (hope is probably more accurate) bad things will be done to you.

And what is wrong with a bad girl?
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July 24, 2005 10:50am
Michael Cullen

Sugar is bad for you! BAD for you do you hear me!!!

We must TAX it imediately.

All girls will be taxed according to sweetness.
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July 24, 2005 10:59am
Jonathan Barrett

Ah yes, but…

If money is the root of all evil, what is the root of all money?
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July 24, 2005 11:03am
Nick Eynon

It’s actually “The love of money is the root of all evil” but I guess it still works…
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July 24, 2005 11:27am
Graeme Edgeler

You’ve madew a slight error:

there are positive and negative roots of evil.

Since this proof (sensibly) only uses the positive root, your conclusion ought in fact be that girls = “absolute” evil.
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July 24, 2005 1:16pm
Jono

Yes Graeme you are very correct it is absolute evil….and the thing is this is so old I think this proof is now a theory,….isn’t it 😛

I remember doing this at the age of 12
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July 24, 2005 6:57pm
Xavier

I’ve heard this before, but there is a logical flaw in it:

Girls are time and money. When the word ‘and’ is used mathematically, it by convention refers to a a summing function and not a multiplicative one. Therefore:

“Girls are time and money” is the same as “Girls = time + money. Naturally this throws the whole square root thing into chaos because the middle term is Girls = 2(Money) and not Girls = Money^2. But there you go.
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July 24, 2005 8:03pm
ZenTiger

Whenever formulas and equations are used to explain girls, a divide by 0 error occurs. You would need to move into the field of irrational numbers to have any hope of working this thing out.
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July 24, 2005 9:33pm
kurt

I believe that when you say:
x = (sqrt(y))^2
that you can only say that
x = |y| (absolute value of y)
therefore,
if girls=(sqrt(evil))^2
then girls=|evil|
or girls are “absolute” evil!
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August 8, 2005 5:16am

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